Letters from the Editor

That time of the year again….

And I refuse to celebrate it.

Don’t be offended when your greetings of “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” go unanswered, or that I get very chilly when greeted so. But St. Patty’s Day is not about drinking green beer and speaking with a burr. Nope, it’s about honoring a man who was responsible (and given credit for) driving the Druids out of Ireland.

Those are the “snakes” that the legends refer to you know. It came from the tradition (which isn’t really confirmed that I have seen) of the Druids having snakes tattooed on their wrists and forearms, getting more elaborate as they increased in knowledge.

But St. Patrick drove them out. By bringing Christianity to the Isle and by persectuing them after he escaped from the Druids. In fact, according to the legends, he was captured by the Irish, sentanced to be executed, claimed as a slave by the Chief Druid of the area, taught the ways of the Druids, learned many secrets by being around the Druids, then he escaped, made his way home to England, and then had a vision of having to bring Christianity to the Irish. He then used his knowledge of the Druids and their structure to undermine and destroy them.

So, he’s a criminal, an oathbreaker, a murderer and a spy.

Nope, not celebrating a day dedicated to him, no matter how many “kiss me I’m Irish” hats I see.

Just FYI.

(reposted to my LiveJournal)

Well, there’s news on another front that I haven’t heard from in a long time.

That’s right, Mark V. is back.

This time he tried to get my site deleted on the basis that it’s all libeling him.

Sorry to say, it has to be a lie maliciously spread through images or writing that directly damages a person.

No lies here, not maliciously spread, simply posted here and left. The only updates are when he contacts me and starts again. It may have damaged his reputation, and I think that’s fair since he continues to attack me and mine with hateful libelous titles and words, all of which are ignored.

Hell, if he would simply drop it, nothing more would happen. I wouldn’t update and he wouldn’t be hurt.

But by continuing this, he only brings it back up again to refresh it with new stink, which shows the publishers he’s trying to get a new book published with that he’s unwilling to let things go.

Yes, I do think he has a new book deal in the “works” which depends on his reputation, and since the first thing you see when googling “Mark Ventmiglia” is my page on this situation, I think it does actually keep his writings from being published.

Well, off to put up copies of his newest email to me. You can find a link to the whole mess to the right.

Well, it’s up.

Right there, last one posted.

http://davensjournal.com/TCotW.xhtml

I think it’s an excellent piece.

Here’s an excerpt:

Well, there have been many who have said at various times that Wicca equals Witchcraft. While I’m not going to argue semantics, and while I can and do acknowledge that Wicca in the original Anglo-Saxon roots means “witch”, I don’t agree that Witchcraft is the semantic equivalent of Wicca anymore.

Here we have a religion that has built itself up around the word Wicca, sold books, developed a complex spiritual substance, Deity figures (some that don’t even appear in ancient mythologies), has developed dogma and cant in which certain things are of the Wicca and others are not and even developed a moralistic code which adherents must ascribe to (or at least give lip service to if they don’t buy the whole thing).

Those characteristics are qualities of a religion, one that has the possibility of developing and continuing for some time. Just about every major religion out there started like this and worked their way into some of the monoliths we know today.

More on the article…

Well, the article is finished. I hope to have it up here in a day or so for your reading pleasure. Right now I’m in the process of tweaking it so it reads well, then it goes to my editor (my wife) to go over and make it 50 times better. Plus, I want one other person to read it first.

So it should be up in the next two days. I’ll make an announcment here about it.

Well, watch this space.

See, I’m considering writing an article on why I think Witchcraft is a skillset. Not the debate on who can call themselves a witch or Wiccan, but why I think there is a craft of witches.

I’m considering this because it’s a long and complex set of reasons, and I want to give it the coverage that is needed.

So keep an eye out for it.

Well, here we are, the next-to-last of a string of holidays I dread. I dread them because of commercialism and because of the rampant consumerism that seems to go with them. The last, buy the way (yes, that is deliberate) is St. Patrick’s Day, but that’s another rant.

It’s a day to show your beloved that you love them. To gift them with things and to let them see how much you care.

And every year part of me goes “WTF??? Why do we need a day to show love???”

I can understand that it probably developed out of things like fertility rituals, handfasting days, renewal of marriage contracts, things like that, but it’s turned into a day where chocolate and flowers go on the Endangered Species List for a while.

With this same commercialism comes the impression that people are only romantic on this day, and no other. That if it weren’t for Valentine’s Day, no one would be shown any appreciation for what they do, how much they are loved, or how they are cared for by the people around them.

Here’s the problem I have with that; if this is a day where we show each other how much we love them, why do we only have ONE day to do it? Why not have a month, or a season, or even a whole year?

I love my wife. Anyone who has read stuff I write should be able to pick that fact out without effort. She is the center of my universe and I achieve what I do, the Herculean efforts I make to secure all that I have, I have done to bring a smile to her face. Not things that are transient, not things that are inconsistent, not one time “I love you so I killed this dragon” kind of things, but real achievements. We are buying a house because she wants a place where she can call it her own. I have changed and grown up because she saw a flaw in me, so I improved it. Never heard of a stone correcting a crack because the sculptor saw the crack, have you?

Robert Heinlein defined Love in his book “Stranger in a Strange Land”. In there, one of the main characters said “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another is essential to your own.” That is the most succinct and to the point definition I have ever heard, and it needs to be repeated to everyone. Love is not selfish, it is not jealousy, it is not combative rage, and it is not shoving away. Love is where the happiness of Mary is CRITICAL to me being happy. If she is upset I cannot be happy.

There are days when I can’t make her happy, and I suffer a lot. There are also days when nothing I do makes things better. But for the most part, by simply being aware of her emotions and her mental state, I can help make her contented and/or happy. And since I cannot be happy unless she is….

Basically it’s about not taking advantage of her, understanding when she’s going to be having a bad day, not being “offline” due to emotions when she is, and being considerate. It’s also about appreciating her all the time.

Some decisions I have made cause her distress simply because they are not how she would have done them, and some of those backfire on me. I have to step up and take responsibility and try to make it right. I also have a duty to try not to make fun of her (mainly by saying “I told you so”) when decisions she made blow up in our face.

A marriage, a relationship that is romantically based, should ideally be a PARTNERSHIP. All parts equally important to the whole, all working together to make the goals of the group come true. After that, then you can focus on the individual with equal emphasis. If I worked my butt off to get a house, and she is working her butt off to get a house, and we combine our efforts equally, once the house is obtained, then I can focus on taking her to a restaurant she wants to go to, and she can focus on buying me that side of leather I want to make things out of.

To this end, communication, open and HONEST communication, is a critical component. That and honest sharing and showing of affection, not fakery by bringing a box of chocolates or a diamond pendant or a car to her on one day from the year, and ignoring her the rest. You have to make this an ongoing process.

In the movie Phenomenon, there is a scene where the Doctor (played by Robert Duvall) reads the riot act to a bunch of inconsiderate jerks. He says:

Banes: [speaking about George's transformation] He never really changed at all. Isn’t that right Doc? I mean he never really got any smarter. Doc?

Doc: Banes… how’s your lady love?

Banes: We… um… we broke up.

Doc: Really? That’s too bad, yeah. Now George has a love at his side and she is sticking with him. You know why? Because he bought her chairs. That’s pretty smart to me. You ever buy Lisa’s chairs?’

Banes: Doc’s real drunk tonight.

Doc: Every woman has her chair, something she needs to put herself into, Banes. You ever figure out what Lisa’s chairs were and buy ‘em?

[pause]

Doc: Nope. But, you’re right about one thing, George never changed.

I think that is the most profound statement about relationships you can find. Accurate too. I found her chairs. I buy them.