Letters from the Editor

If you agree, repost this on your blog and let’s change the perspective about this

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn’t have long hair and women shouldn’t wear short skirts. Women shouldn’t leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn’t dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

If a woman is drunk, don’t rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don’t rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you’re still hung up on, don’t rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don’t rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don’t rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don’t rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don’t rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don’t rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don’t rape her.

If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don’t rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don’t rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching tv, don’t rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don’t rape her.
If your friend thinks it’s okay to rape someone, tell him it’s not, and that he’s not your friend.

If your “friend” tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there’s an unconscious woman upstairs and it’s your turn, Don’t rape her, call the police and tell the guy he’s a rapist.

Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it’s not okay to rape someone.

Don’t tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don’t imply that she could have avoided it if she’d only done/not done x.
Don’t imply that it’s in any way her fault.
Don’t let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he “got some” with the drunk girl.
Don’t perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

Memorable quotes:

“What belt do you have?”
“Canvas. You like? J.C.Penny $3.98″

“Secret Karate punch make all of body fit inside one inch.”

“Ah Daniel-san, you all wet behind EARS!!!”

“Can you do that?”
“Don’t know, never been attacked by tree.”

“I’m sorry, that was stupid.”
“Miyagi say same thing to father. Father agree, was stupid. Father was right.”

“Wax on. Wax off.”

Well, I have heard about ABC’s attempt to get a Pagan couple on their version of “Wife Swap” like the other channel did. I guess they are hoping for another melt down by the Christian since it creates such good ratings.

Social experiements are needed, but I would like to offer a few other perspectives.

First off, what harm could it do? I mean really. The WORST situation is a Fiona Horne clone who does all the ooie-ooie simply for the benefit of the cameras and who won’t really do a lot of harm to how Paganism is viewed in the United States (and the other afiliate countries). I mean, that’s what is expected, therefore that is what they will be looking for, right?

Second off, there is a chance that instead of the Christian woman melting down, the Pagan woman does. It’s possible although unlikely. I guess it’s possible that anyone who winds up on these kinds of shows are going to wind up losing it at some point or another, that is the purpose of it.

Third off, it can be an opportunity to show that Pagans are actually people. Yes, we are people, you all know it, and showing that is good for us as a group. Instead of having The Witch of Salem running around and only doing things in her ritual robes, get a normal soccer mom Wiccan in there who encourages people, who can talk about energy flows and angels and spells and the history of the Burning Times. Show the world that we are intelligent and normal. That’s the way to take the hate and fear out of people, not by going further into the closet.

Fourth, it’s $20,000. Pay me that, I’ll dance naked on the TV with a chicken head dangling from my testicles. That’s enough money to save myself and my family and to get us out of most of the financial crises that we seem to always be in. It would save a lot of other people too.

I’m not saying that just anyone should do it. It would have to be someone who is inteligent and understanding, patient and wise. People who have been able to look at the depths of their souls and come out with most of themselves intact. I know a lot of people like that. Heck, Wren and Fritz of The Witches Voice would be great for it.

Heck, I’m thinking of doing it. I could put up with some strange woman in my home for a month if I had to. She’d probably be more freaked by the sex stuff and the leather business than the religion anyhow.

It’s starting again, the debate about the term “Wicca” between the Traditionals and the Solitaries/Eclectics.

I’m so sick and tired of seeing this debate.

I’m writing an article on it.

You know, not a lot of poeple appreceiate the beauty of this song by Crosby, Stills and Nash. It is all about commitment.

“…and if you can’t be
with the one you love
Honey,
Love the one you’re with.”

Take time to pay attention to the person you are with. Make them the
center of your universe. Make sure they know that you appreceiate them. Take time to look at your time together and see if you have been taking them for granted.

I’ve been married 14 years today in my first marriage. It was the second marriage for Mary, and the last ten years of her marriage may as well have not happened. Her previous marriage was effectively over at year 5 and they stayed together ONLY for the kids. They were married for 15 years. I have one to go to tie him.

But, I am proud to say that if given a choice between him and me, Mary would choose me every day of the year. It’s not that I’m a better provider or a better lover or a better man, it’s simply that I pay attention and NEVER let her think that I take her for granted.

Things like flowers for no reason other than I saw them, holding and touching her because I can, kissing and not caring who is watching, cuddling with her at bedtime and writing poems to her because she’s breathing.

Those things show her that she is more important than anything else in my life.

One of the errors that HE made was that he kept saying that his family came first. But every time when it came to a choice between work and the family, work came first. So there was a string of broken promises and plans that were blown off. But his theory of “Family coming first” was that he worked 80 hours a week and killed himself to bring home a paycheck to provide for them all. THAT was “family coming first”.

I’ll leave work without a second thought should she need me. In some cases I’ll whine about it, but I will be with her if she needs me. And she doesn’t take advantage of that either.

Loving Mary is easy, she makes it so simple to do so. Giving and concerned and touching and helpful, all those combine in this person I was lucky enough to coax to my heart.

This is from my livejournal entry:

Well, fourteen years ago today, at about 4:20 or so, I said “I Do.”

It was in a Justice of the Peace’s office since we couldn’t afford a chappel wedding, and Mary and I eloped. My mother was nuts with trying to get us to do the wedding we wanted her way, and we refused. So instead of letting her attend a ceremony, we denied her the ceremony completely.

I can’t say I remember much of that day, but I do remember some things:

My best man not showing up because he got lost.
Almost being late to the office.
My granddaughter eating the wedding boquet (she was about 1 year old).
Our roommate (the lady we were staying with) standing up as “best man” or a witness.
Mary’s eyes.
Her asking me multiple times if I wanted to back out.
My heart hurting from love.
It raining outside.
Not hearing the ceremony because I was busy looking in her eyes.
The JotP getting to my part, and about 20 seconds passing and me not realizing, then “waking” and saying “I do.” Then everyone laughing.
Us laughing on the way to the wedding reception at the Waffle Shoppe. In the rain, at night, 75 MPH on the freeway.
Her face.

I love my wife. I can’t see my life without her. Don’t know how I would cope.

Anyhow, silly update today, probably going to be like this for a few days.

No, I have no plans for tonight. Working, putting things up. Fixing stuff and sweat equity in our home.

But I have Mary. All is well. Life is worth living.

Happy Aniversary dear. I love you.

The Irreverand Hugh allowed me to repost an article of his authorship to the Journal. It’s about the Anti-Fluffy movement.

http://davensjournal.com/HtIAFB.xhtml

The problem with this article is that, while it points out a very valid concern that is growing in the community, the balance between Fluffyism and rabad Anti-Fluffism is a hard point to define. Yes, keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out. Yes, be skeptical about UPGs, but not so skeptical that you can’t see the changes wrought by the UPG.

So just keep this potential trend in mind.