Letters from the Editor

I’m crossposting this to my LiveJournal.

I need your help. I just had a flat tire and no jack, managed to borrow one, injured my back severely while trying to lift the car enough to get the jack under the frame. It’s *almost* a herniated disk. It’s a shade this side.

I plan on taking it easy, not doing too much, but work won’t let me do that. I’m going to talk to my boss about it, but I’m not too confident they will be understanding.

So, any energy you have to spare in the way of prayers, healing or anything of the sort, please send it along. I really need it right now.

Okay, I have to explain something to you who are reading this:

Last post I say “Always and Forever” as the last words.

It’s our special vow.

Back when I first met Mary, we had met at a Sci-Fi convention and had gamed. Later when I remet her (and I count that one as the REAL meeting) through her daughter, we spent a night of bliss.

Well, if you count talking and doing the soul-dumping for three or four hours, then passing out from exhaustion while an idiot who promised to show up 6 hours previous FINALLY showed up at midnight to game and staying up till four in the morning then doing some heavy spiritual stuff and soulbonding as bliss.

Found out that first night that we had been together for several cycles of the Wheel. Despite everything, somehow we managed to find each other across continents and be together. That night we found out why.

We had been together in 850CE Scotland, husband and wife, farmers and sheep herders and chandlers. Christian, but with granny folk knowledge. We synergized.

My name in that time was Daven McDavid, hers was Theresa. Yes, that is where we got our magickal names. They started this cycle.

They were lovers and beloved. But she had a brother who should have been drowned at birth. He was the younger of the children, so everything would go to her when the parents died. Her brother couldn’t stand this, but when she got pregnant after 5 years of trying, he took action.

He accused her of witchcraft. Since she had acted as midwife and healer for many in the village, she was convicted quickly and burned at the stake.

Daven was destroyed. He didn’t know she was pregnant, but she kept ordering him to not join her since one of them had to live. He wanted to be with her, but it was no good. She died, he lived. He lived a half-existance for the rest of his life. He lived another 40 years (this happened around the mid 20’s). He did nothing with his life.

Their promise to each other was “Always and Forever”. I don’t know if they knew what they were doing by promising that, but the effect is that it bound the two souls together in a way that is almost impossible to separate.

We have done some investigation, and since then we have been in each other’s lives consistantly. I don’t think there is a single lifetime after that point where we are not both there. And indications point to us being there for each other for some time to come.

On that fateful night (which I remember like it was yesterday), Theresa showed up and demanded that I take off my mask, reconfirmed her vow and (since I was caught up in the moment and didn’t know much better), I reconfirmed it too. Bliss….

And the night I proposed to Mary, oh, that was one for the recordbooks. I couldn’t get enough of her.

We have scribed in our wedding rings… I have “Always” and she has “and Forever”. We did this independently of each other. On a lark I had “and Forever” engraved in her ring, and it turned out that she had had “Always” engraved on mine.

Indications that two minds were thinking as one, two hearts beating as one, two souls joining again after a long time of division and incompletness.

So that’s the story. Sorry it’s so long.

I know the God he’s talking about isn’t mine, but it doesn’t matter. This song sums up so much of how I feel about Mary that it’s stupefying. After 14 years, I still can’t breathe without her. I get up in the morning because of her. I eat because of her. I reach for and do and be because of and for her. Left to myself, I think I would just disappear into the mists.

I can’t ever repay the wonderful incredible gift that she gave me, herself. I’ll always be in debt to her for that, and I hope I never get out of that debt. She is my life, my universe, my everything and she is my sister-self that I missed when I was 12 and despaired of finding at 22. Then, incredibly, wonderfully, amazingly, she entered my life, and I’ve never been the same. I’m healed and whole now, all because of one woman.

She found this song at one point, and I never really listened to it until recently. But it says it all.

Bless the Broken Road
Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You’ve been there you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I’m just rollin home
Into my lover’s arm’s
This much I know is true
That God Bless the Broken Road
That led me straight to you

That God Bless the Broken Road
That led my straight to you

Mary, I love you with all my heart and soul. NEVER doubt that. I would only exist without you. You are an incredible woman.

You hold me up as the example of what a Man is? I hold you up as that example for a Woman. You are my Goddess and my heart. I don’t think I can ever tell you with words how incredible you are or how much I love you. I am your slave and your partner and I hope that you ALWAYS remember that.

The casual kindness you show to everyone around you speaks volumes for the depths of your care. Each and every scar on your soul that I caused makes me wish to commit hara-kiri in attonement, and the salves I have helped you put on the scars others left are not nearly enough to make up for it.

You make me feel like a man, a person who has the complete trust of another human being, and I want to hold you gently, but firmly, and take any blow that comes at MaErryic to spare you the pain of that blow. I feel diminished when you are not with me.

God, I can’t see through my wattery eyes right now.

I love you babe. Always and Forever….

No, I am not doing a review of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Thank you for asking.

That is all.

Been a while.

Well, let’s see…

In no particular order

• Our girl came back, so now we are a three instead of just a duo. Rhiannon couldn’t be more thrilled since she now has a “sister”.
• Finished up a leather commission last night
• Finished Harry Potter on Friday
• Been working on my sister site, it’s ALMOST ready. Just a few more tweaks (to some of the explanation pages) and entering inventory and products into the database, and it’s going live.
• Mary got a job. Working from the house, on the phone talking to people who give her credit card numbers. If you can’t figure it out from that, well, you need to rent a brain.
• Got a new computer so our third can work from the house too, she’s got an Internet Job, doing design for other’s sites and so on. So, that’s four PCs in one house that are active.
• Things are better at work. Turns out the people I work with are human after all.
• I’ve lost weight
• It’s been three and a half years since I quit smoking (aniversary of that on Jan 14, 2002, two days after my birthday)
• Teaching a class in Druidism at the ODU
• Trying to get through the Paganism book mentioned in another post. Little time to read.
• Been offered the chance to buy our little one bedroom apt. Then we started thinking about it. More later*
• Out of cash, but anticipating several fundage incomes here in the very near future.
• Looking for a house to fit us all.

So all that has been keeping me from working on this for a while. I’ll try to get something up soon.

As for the apt. Turns out that our landlord is renting it too. There is the owner (who contacted us) who is renting it to our landlord, who is subleting it to us. He’s charging us a premium for it too. It’s a $25K property that has $18K left on it before it’s owned. But our landlord has been missing payments and not keeping up with the taxes and so on. So the owner called us directly and wants to sell it to us and bypass the guy who has been messing with him.

Now, here’s the dilemma; If we commit to purchasing this, then we won’t have the funds to purchase a house with more room for all of us. We won’t be able to move and four people in a one bedroom apt will quickly get on everyone’s nerves. If we don’t do this, and keep saving the money to get a house, then the owner will find another buyer who could evict us for whatever reason he wants (although with 90 days notice), leaving us out on the street if we can’t find a suitable place to move to. If we manage to buy the place, and a house, what do we do with it when we move out? I don’t want it, it would only be an investment, and with property values crashing like they are, the real estate market is soft.

So, I think no matter what happens, we may be screwed. The best we can hope for is to find a new house quickly, find someone with credit good enough to co-sign with us, us to move and for things with the apt to drift like they have been for now. Or the Powerball Lottery. Yeah, I think $150,000,000 or more could solve our problems really easily.

I made that. It’s Hemetite and Malechite with small Smoky Quartz beads in between. Supposed to be a mnemonic for me to remember the Ogham fews.

You shall be missed. I know that while I loved your character on Star Trek, the things I honor you for the most is your voiceover work in most of the cartoons I watched as a child. I just found out about your military service, and the fact that you retrained as a pilot when you weren’t allowed to fight on the ground after losing a finger.

I saw you speak at one little Sci-Fi con in Atlanta. I enjoyed hearing you. The anecdotes you told were very entertaining and I wish I could remember some.

In a way I’m glad you are not with us anymore. While I will miss you and your talent and integrity, Alsheimer’s Syndrome can be a hell of a way to die. I’m glad you are spared that now.

Be at peace my friend.