Letters from the Editor

So much to talk about.

Wonderful weekend. Got together with a friend of ours at the local club that Mary and I go to, and I had a ball. Poor Mary was stuck at home coughing up a lung. Friday night was the worst of it, and she had her crisis, it passed her by, but she still couldn’t stand up straight. So Narcissa andI went to the club.

The problem is that she lives about an hour and a half away from us by car, and as she was coming down the road, her oil pan plug blew out. Thankfully she was close enough to where I was to meet her, that I just took her to our house.

She bought me some leather, I spent Saturday, Sunday and part of Monday making toys for her. Nice times too.

Why do I mention all this? I think Mary and I may have found our third. We have been actively looking for someone to join us for a while now. Like, for about 12-13 years. But we have been being very descreet and very discerning, since we don’t want just anyone coming into our family. Plus we had a long list of qualities that we needed the mythical person to join us needed to have.

Why do I mention this? I think she’s it. Compatable religious beliefs. Same types of kink and sexual appetites. Same basic belief structure, many likes and dislikes that we have. Similar tastes in music and things like food and TV/Films. She’s not put off by many of the problems that I have and Mary has, as she has her own set of problems that we can help with.

I talked to her, along with Mary and she’s accepted, tentatively. She’s got a chance at her dream job, and she finds out if she gets it after the 16th. If she does, she’s moving to CA and we won’t see her again. If not, the we move forward.

But we do this slowly. She is not just some caricature, and Mary and I have been going slowly for some time. Because this is going to involve sacrafices on both sides. She is going to have to give up privacy and her time and attention, we will have to move. Our fortuntes will have to comingle, and it will be all for one (the family). It will be hard.

I have been around other polyamorous groups, and I have seen some of the problems they have. I don’t want that to be us. I want it to be a group marriage, where Mary and her are getting what they need as well as me. I don’t want it to be “Daven’s Harem” or anything like it.

That’s the news. We may have another in our marriage. We may not, as well. It all depends on the luck of the draw.

So this weekend was getting to know each other. The ONE problem we have already spotted that may make or break this is money. Like that is NEVER a consideration…. The base of the matter is that Mary and I have learned to pay the bills first, then spend for pleasure. It looks like (at this point) that she spends and doesn’t worry about the bills until later. That’s my mother’s way of doing things, and it means that my mother is constantly in a state of crisis with the finances. So we have to talk to her. It can be worked out, but it will take some time and effort on everyone’s part.

I was looking at my site feed a while back, and I changed it slightly.

Now if you want to get to any post, the easiest way to get to it is this:

http://davensjournal.com/wordpress/archive/YEAR/MONTH NUMBER/POST TITLE

That should be the correct link. Hope it helps.

AE: this is the abreveiation for “American Eclectic” in which elements of many different traditions are taken and mixed to form a new kind of spirituality, while respecting the cultures those elements were taken from. Has a strong sense of history and a seeking of continuity. See this article for an excellent discussion of the various flavors of Wicca.

BTW: this is the “short term” for British Traditional Wicca. Normally this is typified by Gardnerian and Alexandrian, but it can be any group that is a lineaged mystery tradition. See this article for an excellent discussion of the various flavors of Wicca.

Emo (an abbreviation of “emotional”) is a term now broadly used to describe almost any form of guitar-driven alternative rock that expresses emotions beyond traditional punk’s limited emotional palette of alienation and rage. It is also used to describe fans of this genre, most commonly teenagers. (e.g., emo kid). The actual term “emo” originated in the mid-1980s D.C. scene, with the band Rites of Spring. The term addressed both the way the band connected with its audience, as well as its tendency to deal more with topics of personal and relationship politics than with the standard themes of rock music.

Evoke: To ask a being/emotion or other noun to mainfest outside of ourselves to be with us, as another person would be. To evoke an emotion is to bring that emotion forth. To cause to occur.

Fluffy Bunny: A full explanation of this condition would take too long. A short definition is one who insisits that their view of Wicca or Paganism is the correct one, despite reams of evidence being presented to the contrary. A person who is willfully ignorant. For further explanations, see What Makes a Fluffy Bunny and Standard Fluffy Statements

Godiots: Defined as a God Idiot or a God Zealot. Basically a Fundamental Religious person who makes it their business to shove their beliefs in everyone else’s faces. Most notably refers to Christian Zealots, but can and does apply to Pagan, Muslims and other religious practices.

Invoke: To invoke something is to bring that something to being inside ourselves. To invoke a deity to to ask that deity to manifest within us and within our lives, as reflected by ourselves. It is literally to bring something from outside ourselves within, to invite it in.

Karma: Religious doctrine that each rebirth in the cycle of lives is based on the sum of the merit accumulated by an individual during his previous lives. Karma establishes the general tendency of a life but does not determine specific actions. In each life, the interaction between individual character and previously established karma forms the karma of succeeding lives.

Polyamory: participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships DOES NOT IMPLY PROMISCUITY.

Sheeple: People sheep. A person who just follows the crowd with whatever they are told, who never questions or wonders or tries. They simply do what they are told to do like good little sheep.

Spitball or Spitballing: to toss ideas around with no expectation of them coming to pass, to brainstorm.

Straw Man: A straw man or man of straw is a dummy in the shape of a human created by stuffing straw into clothes. Straw men are used as scarecrows, combat-training targets, effigies to be burned, and as rodeo dummies to distract bulls. In otherwords, a disposable target. In the context of an argument, it is a distraction, a target presented to sidetrack the discussion from one area onto it with the purpose of derailing the discussion/debate/argument. A target intended to be destroyed.

Vanity Search: A Websearch where you enter your name, handle, or website, to see who mentions or links to you. Normally used as an ego boost.

Wictim: A Wiccan Victim or one who believes that you are persecuting them right now. Generally a trait of the Fluffy Bunny.

Yahoogroup: A group run and hosted by Yahoo! Groups which is based on the email list format. Emailing an address as a member will post that email to the entire group, as well as all responses. MajorDomo is a form of this, but it is a bit more clunky to use.

I just got a response back from Raymond Buckland! I had asked him a while back if it would be alright if I reposted the rituals from The Tree here.

He just gave me permission, so long as I acknowledge the source I got it from. YIPPEE!!!

Look for about two dozen more pages to go up here in the next few days.

…where I want to hurt people.

Even with the national attention being focused on the Wiccan parent’s right to teach their kid what they want there are still the little dramas playing out all the time.

Take Norm (seriously, take him, I don’t want him anymore…). It’s been over a year since I have had any contact with the man. Why? Not worth my time or energy. I have serious things I’m doing and trying to get done, and it is obvious that he’s not going to learn. That’s fine, his karma.

Friend of mine posts to The Obsidian Mirror where I am a member, along with a couple other people who have had run-ins with him in the past. Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal since it’s a private group, and most often no one that isn’t supposed to be there comes. But, unfortunately, The Mirror has a tendancy to draw one of two people; those who like the site or those who absolutely despise it. I have yet to meet anyone who is on the fence.

So, he puts up a one line post venting some frustrations that he has, and we start a discussion.

Mistakes were made. One of the biggest was that it was in a public area of the BBS. Some say some very disingenuous things in the process of venting. A link to Norm’s Yahoogroup was posted, and several of us went to look at what was going on. Nothing exciting and so I didn’t stick around or bother signing up. Why fan dead coals back into flames?

But, DragonGoddess was “outed”, as I mentioned earlier. Surprisingly she is a pretty good person when not kicking her heels and yelling about how bad we all are. Long story.

The net result? Norm was aparently doing a “vanity search” (a Google Search where you look for your name on other people’s webpages) and found the Mirror forum. He joins. Without thinking I authorize him to be a member. He starts posting his idiocy again. I ban him since I don’t really want to put up with it. And now he’s whining about how mean we all are.

Like I said, drama.

Newsflash: It’s our forum, we get to decide who is there. Coming on to someone else’s forum and posting and spamming about how mean we all are, how you are condemning us all because we are idiots, how we don’t understand you is acting like an emo kid (and I had to look up the definition of emo a while back too, so don’t feel bad) and just makes me disgusted.

Norm, you claim to be a leader in the Pagan communities. When you are criticized you start kicking and screaming about how wrong everyone else is without ever actually reading the citations and references provided. You set up straw-man arguments so you can knock them down and make villans out of others, and you act like someone who has their feelings hurt. You call those who don’t agree with you unintelligent and idiots. You say that someone who doesn’t agree with you are not “True Wiccans” or whatever, and then you post pages about how mean they are. You call people that you consider friends to attack as if they were mastifs or something, and then you get pissed off and leave the group (”I’m taking my balls and going home….” <footstamp>) while casting aspersions at those who just offended you.

These are not the actions of any kind of “leader”. These are the actions of an offended 5 year old. This is how a child behaves. I have done nothing to you except disagree with one page of your site. I even state that if one word is changed, I can support the thing. I even state that it is that one page I disagree with.

Yes, I used to get a thrill off bating you a while back, but that’s when I had hope that you would and could see the error of your ways. But I have given up that hope entirely since it’s obvious that you are going to keep smacking into that brick wall. I have had no contact with you since that last piece of drama.

You say that you want to “agree to disagree”. That is what I have done. I am not in your face, nor am I smearing you everywhere. But do you realize that in your Yahoogroup, you have made several posts mentioning me and Obsidian? Don’t you think that shows some obsession? Do you have any clue what that means to you? You can’t leave it alone. You accuse everyone else of things and actions YOU YOURSELF do constantly. It’s pitiful.

Well, this is my last entry about you Norm. I feel sorry for you. I really do. You are no kind of leader, and if you think you are, then you need to get help for your delusions. A leader doesn’t act like this. A petulant child does.

Go read this fable. It’s wonderful. It’s up there with the other lessons and fables we teach with.

A Woodland Lesson