It is my opinion that Wicca should emulate Satanism in more aspects than it already does (and vehemently denies doing). To do so would be to strengthen the Wiccan resolve and add a coherent ethical philosophy that other religions criticise Wicca for not having. Specifically, I mean to say that Anton Szandor LaVey wrote some pretty damn good philosophical and ethical principles in his book, The Satanic Bible (see for yourself), that Wiccans need to read and see the value in. After all, Wicca as of late is just an amalgamation of all sorts of other religious beliefs, precepts and practices, adding in everything from Hellenistic paganism to Jewish mysticism to Christian liturgy to Freemason ritual design. Why not throw in a little Satanist ethics and make the alloy that much stronger?
I've found that most Wiccans (and most people, for that matter, but Wiccans especially) revolt at the very idea of associating anything Satanic whatsofuckingever into their worldview. Despite the fact that most Wiccans hate Christianity deep down inside, they are still striving for their beliefs and practices to be recognised as valid in the eyes of their Christian peers. Of course, this is just wishful thinking, because for the most part Christians follow the Bible, and most pastors and evangelists today (especially of the televised sort) interpret the Bible as saying that anything unbiblical is Satanic. So basically, we're all branded as Satanists in one form or another anyway. It's not like Satanism is completely void of value or truth, right? After all, many Wiccans advertise the maxim that "no path is invalid". Since Wicca rips off everything else, I think they should give Satanism a whack too.
First off, most practitioners of Wicca™ abide by two rules, the first being the Wiccan Rede and the other being the Rule of Three. In essence, do what you want but don't harm anything because anything you do comes back to you threefold. The links I just put in dissect the Rede and the Threefold Law, so for the sake of brevity I shan't do that again. That being said, I believe these two rules do not suffice as a credo to live by, and leave the adherent with little or no actual spiritual direction. So instead, I propose the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth:
Anton Szandor LaVey, 1967 c.e.
Now I shall dissect these rules and show how these apply to Neopagan culture and how implementation thereof would benefit the Wiccan world tremendously.
A perfect example: Many Wiccans™ are openly and vehemently against evangelism in any form by the Christian Church. Many feel that advertising spirituality cheapens it; many others simply feel threatened by others' proselytising; others, like myself, are just plain fucking annoyed by it. However, lurk in a Christian chat room (Yahoo! chat is a great place to see this) for about an hour or so, and watch as two or three brave Wiccans will barge in and try to "dispel the myths" — in essence, proselytising their faith. They have become the very people they loathe, and are no better than Mormon elders on bicycles advertising their beliefs to people on the streets, or Jehovah's Witnesses handing pamphlets out door to door.
Want a solution to this problem? If you're not asked, shut the fuck up. Now, this doesn't pertain to web pages or publishing books, since it is up to the individual whether to read and/or buy the book or visit the webpage. You can opine all you want on your own turf; just honour your neighbour's right to not have to put up with your banter. Bill O'Reilly can have his TV show and can say whatever the fuck he wants to on it. I have a remote control, and I am not being forced to watch him. So, before you tell me that I'm betraying the point of this essay by writing it, you can shove it up your arse. ;)
The principle behind #2 is akin to that of #1. This is why I have a blog, but I would never go whining on Oprah about how badly my life sucks, I would never beg Maury Povich for a makeover, and I would never burden a complete stranger with my problems. They have strife of their own to deal with. So unless you're visiting a counsellor or you know the victim of your wailings really wants to be in that position, shut up. Keep a journal, bitch in your blog, write subpar poetry like that twerp from Evanescence, and go tell Dear Diary how you're going to kill yourself, because frankly I don't want to fucking hear it.
This is a big pet peeve of mine: stupid, nosy fucks who stick their ugly acne-ridden noses into everyone else's personal domain. First off, let me give a shout out to you twits who simply have to spew hatred in my guestbook or on my forum: This is my site. My lair. See? The domain says "Obsidian". This is my house, these are my rules. Treat me with respect in my own home, or else don't come here. You are very capable of hitting that little × in the top right corner of this window.
This also applies to silly Wiccans who have to storm Christian chat rooms and message boards trying to show how lovey-dovey-faeries-and-lollipops Wicca is. The Christians have a right to say what they want to in and amongst themselves. As long as they're not bothering you directly (and chances are, they're not, since they're too involved with their OWN religion to care, save for a few nuts), leave them the fuck alone.
Again, one might call me a hypocrite for arguing this point, since I did storm Fiona Horne's forum, but since I'm not a Satanist nor a Wiccan, this doesn't apply to me. ;)
In other words, treat others the way they want to be treated. If someone's being a douchebag on your turf, you have every right to be an asshole right back to them. I believe this wholeheartedly, and if you notice, I am an asshole to those who deserve it. Considering most Wiccans already adhere to this principle in spirit, it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to just stick to this philosophy in writing, now, would it?
This is simple, and covers the following: do not rape. Do not molest children (considering children are incapable of sending off "mating signals"). Do not hit on people who don't want it (this will save you tons of lawyer fees in sexual harassment suits). Do not expose yourself in public. Do not try to hold a Great Rite in your town square. Duh.
This is self-explanatory, and this includes personal freedom. 'Nuff said.
Virtually all Neopagans already agree on this precept already; all that's left is to officially declare it.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
This includes persecution. Don't claim a lion to be cruel and vicious if you walk into its cage and piss it off and it attacks you. Don't be stupid, and if you are stupid and make a mistake, shut the fuck up and learn from it.
And you thought Satanists had no morals. Pshwah.
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for your food.
These last ones sure are easy to explain.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
Again, self-explanatory, and if more people adhered to this rule especially less grief would be caused in public. Less crimes would occur, less wars would occur, and overall the quality of life would improve for both Neopagans and cowans alike.
There is also another Satanic piece I would like you to read, on the Nine Satanic Sins. These rules further embellish my point that the Satanic code of conduct is an example to be followed (or at least derived from), and that really, Satanism isn't all that bad. Especially once you stop trying to suck up to the Christians. You know, those Christians who've been persecuting us for centuries? LOL.
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