A conversation that happened years ago, that I thought was funny as hell, and still think is great:

Parts of the conversation sorted by color….

By the way, do you even know what the Nine sacred woods are? No fair peeking.

Oh, wait, I know this one…

1. Morning wood
2. Afternoon wood
3. Evening wood
4. Midnight wood
5. “I gotta pee, dammit” wood
6. Embarassing first-date wood
7. New Britney Spears video wood
8. Yeah, I guess Orlando Bloom really is hot wood
9. Kids are coming up the stairs let’s finish this *quick* wood

I guess the “10. No reason just random wood” wood isn’t in th ere, but what about the “11. Embarrasing called to the blackboard wood” wood? Where does it go?

Not all woods are sacred woods.

Astute readers of my Journal will have already noticed that the name has changed.  That’s what should be.  But let me tell you why.

As you may have read in earlier entries, I’m transitioning from Male to Female.  Well, in recent months I’ve made some major strides forward in that regard, namely I’ve come out to everyone I know that I’m transitioning, and I’ve legally changed my name from my male moniker to a more female name.

With this change came a LOT of soul searching, a lot of meditation and a lot of discussion with the Gods.  Finally after a long time, we all determined that I am Their daughter just as much as I was Their son.  I am Their Priestess and still Their Priest.

Confusing?  You bet you.  About as confusing as being female, dressing as female, being called “She” and “Her” and “Miss” and still being called “Dad” by my daughter.  But that’s okay, things take time, and I’m only partway through the hormone treatment.

So, with the new name, new gender and the acknowledgment of the world at large, I rededicated myself one morning near Samhain.  I abandoned the name Daven and took the name Erin to be my magickal working name.

You may be able to see some of the changes.

Juliet:
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”

So, the name of the Journal is changing to Erin’s Journal.  But the content is not.  It will still have the same content as any you have come to expect.  The look and feel will be the same.  It may have more personal focus and changes based on crossing gender lines and still being a representative of the Gods.

I am going to be taking time over the next months to find and change all references to Daven’s Journal and replace them with Erin’s Journal.  I am going to do this gradually since it will take some time for you, the reader, to adjust to this change too.  Everyone knows Daven’s Journal, but it will take time to realize that it is the same site as Erin’s Journal.  Thus the “new and improved” logo upstairs.  Hopefully by keeping something the same, it can become normal, then we gradually phase out the various elements of Daven and replace them with Erin.

But also, like the Shattered Tower, this is a change that has happened and cannot be undone.  But also like Death, it’s one that has been a long time in coming.

Copyright 1993, John Shepard, Performed at Dragonfest, August 1993

[Materials required: On the altar there are brown candles, a Tootsie Roll (the great big one---as the athame), a large glass with milk in it (the chalice), a small dish of Nestle's Quick and a spoon, a small dish of chocolate sprinkles, a plate of cupcakes and some Yoo-Hoo along with a goblet. Participants approaching are given 1-2 shiny pennies with instructions that they must hold on to them until the appropriate time in the ritual. When feasting begins, they must surrender a penny for cakes and one for wine or one penny for both, if only one penny is handed out.]

(Attunement chant is similar to the “Ohm” chant but is focused to the ritual, “Yum-m-m”)

CLEANSE THE SACRED SPACE:

Chocolate sprinkles where thou art cast
No calories in thy presence last.
Let no fat adhere to me,
And as I will So Mote It BE!

Nestle’s Quick where thou art cast
Turn this milk to chocolate, fast.
Let all good things come to me,
And make my milk all chocolatey!

CAST THE CIRCLE (using a tootsie roll):

CALL THE QUARTERS:

MAIN RITUAL:

HANDMAIDEN (Henceforth known as the Swiss Miss): Listen to the words of the Mother of Chocolate, who was of old called Godiva, Ethel M, Sara Lee, Nestle, Mrs. See, and by many other names.

HPS: Whenever you have one of those cravings, once in a while and better it be when your checkbook is full, then shall you assemble in a great public place and bring offerings of money to the spirit of Me, who is Queen of all Goodies.

In the Mall shall you assemble you who have eaten all your chocolate and are hungry for more. To you I shall bring Good Things for your tongue.

And you shall be free from depression, and as a sign that you are truly free, you shall have chocolate smears on your cheeks, and you shall munch, nosh, snack, feast, and make yummy noises, all in my presence. For mine is the ecstasy of phenylalanine (FEEN-EL-AL-A-NEEN), and mine also is Joy on Earth, yea, even into High Orbit, for my law is “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.”

(Note from Daven: It should be noted that the ecstatic ingredient in Chocolate is not phenylalanine, but THEOBROMIDE or PHENYLETHYLAMINE.  For more information, please see http://www.chocolate.org)

Keep clean your fingers, carry Wet Ones always, let none stop you or turn you aside. For mine is the secret that opens your mouth, and mine is the taste that puts a smile on your lips and comfy, padding pounds on your hips.

I am the Gracious Goddess who gives the gift of joy unto the tummies of men and women. Upon earth, I give knowledge of all things delicious, and beyond death…well, I can’t do much there. Sorry about that.

I demand only your money in sacrifice; for behold, chocolate is a business, and you have to pay for those truffles before you eat them.

SWISS MISS: Hear now the words of the Goodie Goddess, she in the dust of whose feet are the cheap imitations, whose body graces candy racks and finer stores everywhere.

GOODIE: I, who am the beauty of chocolate chips, and the satisfying softness of big bars, the mystery of how they get the filling inside of truffles, and fill the hearts of all but Philistines with desire, call unto thy soul to arise and come unto me. For I am the soul of candy; from me do all confections spring, and unto me all of you shall return, again…..and again……….and again………………and again.

Before my smeared face, beloved of Women and Men, thine innermost divine self shall be enfolded in the rapture of overdose. Let my taste be within the mouth that rejoices. For behold, all acts of yumminess and pleasure are my rituals. Therefore, let there be gooeyness and mess, crispness and crackling, big slabs and bite size pieces, peanut butter and chocolate covered cherries all within you.

And you who think to seek me, know that your seeking and yearning shall avail you not unless you know the Mystery; “We will sell no chocolate until you pay for it.” For behold; I have been with you since you were just a baby, and I am that which is attained at nearly any shop in the land.

Messed Be!

SWISS MISS: Hear now the words of the Chocolate God, who was of old called Ghirardelli, Milton Snavely Hershey, Bosco, Fudgesicle, and by many other names.

HP: I am the strength of the candy rack, and the piece that fell on the floor, but looks like it might not have gotten too dirty, and the deepest bitterness of dark chocolate. No matter how you try to resist the call of chocolate, I will hunt you out and I will become your sacred prey. I am the warmth of hot cocoa in the dead of winter, and the call of the road that leads you to that really expensive Godiva store downtown.

I give you, my creatures, the fire of love of chocolate, the power of jaw strength to bite off a piece of that frozen Milky Way bar, and the shelter of Haagen Daaz when that big date didn’t work out. You are dear to me, and I instill in you my power; the power of a piece of chocolate that you had forgotten you had hidden, and the power of vision and magickal sight with which you can spot a candy counter a mile away.

By the powers of the half melted bar in the glorious sun, I charge you; by the darkest depths of the bottom of the cocoa pot and the lingering smell of bittersweet chocolate, I charge you; and by the beauty of a perfectly swirled vanilla butter cream, I charge you:

Follow your heart and your instinct, wherever they lead you. The wealth in your pocket can buy you treats that a Mayan king would envy. Take joy in that first bite of lecithin emulsified cocoa, and in the last satisfying slurp of Yoo-Hoo. Yet you must be wary of deceit. Eat not of that which is called “Baking Chocolate,” for it is vile and bitter.

Lastly, always remember to leave some chocolate behind you. Be not greedy, but let yourself be known as a connoisseur. Leave a little for someone else.

I am with you always, just over your shoulder, or around the next corner. I am the Lord of Chocolate, and when you have reached the end of your hoard, I will never be farther away from you than that 7-Eleven on the corner. I am the spirit of the Wild Child; the Inner Child who can never get quite enough. If you are a true chocolate lover, then your soul and mine are intertwined.

Cupcakes and Yoo-Hoo: (the Blessing of the Yoo-Hoo)

We all come for the Chocolate
And for it we shall remain
‘Til we get our fill—
No calories and no weight gain.

DISMISS QUARTERS:

HPS: Oh, ye mighty goodies of the ______, We thank you for attending our rites and guarding our circle. And ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms, We say unto you, “N-E-S-T-L-E-S, Nestles makes the very best.”

ALL: “Chooooc-laaate.” (use sacred hand signs to salute the close of each quadrant)

Close circle. (HPS, HP and Elements join hands and intone as they lower hands to the ground to earth the Circle)

Haagen Daaz Forever!

copyright August 1993, John L. Shepard. Permission is given to post anywhere as long as the content is not altered and this notice is attached.

Added to and revised by Daven Jan 2000.

Originally posted 2009-11-14 14:46:56.

Several things have combined lately to prompt me to write this article. I want to see this article distributed wide and far. Heck, I’ll let anyone repost it for any reason if they want to.

The focus of this article is going to be Debating others and Hatred. You may have figured that out from the title, but I think it’s going to come as a surprise to you where I go as I explore this topic.

I am not going to talk about how we should tolerate everyone’s point of view. Far from it, some of the greatest improvements to life and to society have occurred when one person disagreed with another’s position on something, like Rosa Parks’ disagreement of where she should sit on the bus. (To explain this for those of you in other countries, our Civil Rights revolution started when Rosa Parks, then a young lady, was told that she had to sit in the back of the bus because she was black. The back of the bus was crowded with many people and there was no one sitting in the front of the bus, so she moved to the vacant areas. She was arrested and that started a chain of events leading to the Civil Rights Fight, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr. and many other pivotal events of the mid 20th Century.)

I am going to talk about other people’s hatred of us, and by “us” I mean those with alternate lifestyles, be that religion or sexuality or living conditions or skin color.

One fact that you MUST understand is that every person on this planet is a minority of some sort. Pick the whitest white man out of the most insular and straight-laced community on the face of the Earth, and I will bet you that with enough knowledge of him I could find something that makes him a minority. There is always some aspect of his life that puts him outside the circle of the greater group and puts him smack into the little circle of “Minority”.

So people hating each other for not being in the same group as another is just stupid. Yes, it’s stupid. If everyone is a minority of some sort, then hating minorities is stupid because you wind up hating yourself. And it’s not what the major religions teach.

I watch some few television shows. Recently one of them to come on was called “Trading Spouses” in which the wives of two families swap places. The most recent show had a very Christian woman and a New Age Mother trading places. It was interesting to watch because the New Age lady was very calm, Zen and very little upset her. She took care of the family and did her best to relate to the various children and to help improve their lives overall. The Christian woman, instead of following the teachings of Christ and loving those around her, decided to take another road and hate the family she found herself with instead because they weren’t Christian. She caused contention and strife everywhere she went. The father was extremely accommodating to her, to the point of packing the whole family up and all of them going to Church to make her comfortable and happy.

And this is what I’m talking about when I speak of “hate”.

Why is this necessary? Why is it that we MUST have an enemy to destroy? What makes it worse is that I see it reflected in the eyes of my co-religionists, the Wiccans and other Pagans of the area I live in. It’s almost as though they have a license of “well, if THEY are going to hate ME, then I can hate THEM”. This makes me very sad to see.

What surprises me is when that same hatred is disguised in the best of motives, the advancement of humanity or the teaching of children. Let me give you a recent example.

As you have seen if you follow my site at all, I recently reviewed Richard Abanes’ book “Harry Potter, Narnia and the Lord of the Rings”. I did my best to be fair to him and his writing. I didn’t like it; I thought it was an unnecessary book. I say so, but I also grant him that taken on its own merits the book is a good one. I simply didn’t think it was for me or for Pagans, since it explores no new material; it simply covers the same tired chestnuts that have been around for some time.

Prominent in this book is an attack on Wicca. I had to question why it was there. That attack is a non-sequitor in the book and exists in this book (to my mind) to cloud the issue of how Harry Potter is bad for the children of the world. It is in there to link Wicca to Harry Potter as something that is dangerous. But the point of that book seems to be that Harry Potter is being used to recruit kids for paganism and Wicca.

One gentleman who recently wrote me asked the question “what’s wrong with that?”

Folks, I tell you, it was like a bolt of lightning from a clear sky. I was floored because that was the heart of the whole debate, everything else was just window dressing. Abanes tried to say that the occult is dangerous, or that witches themselves say the occult is dangerous, or that God says that it’s dangerous, and thus that Harry Potter is dangerous because it fosters an interest in the occult. But he never answered the question of why talking about it was bad.

See, the premise of the book is that good Christians should keep their children away from Harry Potter because it will recruit them into Wicca and Paganism, taking them away from Christianity. It will corrupt the children with thoughts of magic spells and flying on brooms and other such fantastic elements or that Cerberus and dragons really do exist and that they will hurt the psyches of the children.

But he still fails to address why this is bad.

What struck me in the email I received is that Christianity is allowed to recruit and to proselytize; they are commanded to do so in their holy writ. But that same courtesy is never extended to others. NEVER. I have yet to see a Christian sit down and listen, really listen, to another about their beliefs unless forced to do so. It is only when they have no choice but to listen that they do, and they do so with the contempt dripping off them and pooling on the floor. (Get the rag, we have to clean up all the pools of contempt all over. Wish they would stop dripping it all over my rugs. Watch out! Don’t step in the puddle of contempt.)

Hypocrisy like that makes me madder than anything else.

Yes, as a general rule Pagans and Wiccans don’t go out and start proselytizing to the masses about Wicca and other pagan faiths. We write books and those books spark an interest and those who are interested find us on their own. It keeps the numbers down and it allows Pagans in general to be selective of those they teach rather than teaching anyone who comes down the pike.

But even if that were not the case, there is the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. It says (for those of you who don’t know) “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Now, while most religious sites like mine focus on what’s called “The Establishment Clause” or “The Free Exercise Clause” which is the part about establishing a religion and the free exercise thereof, what I’m focusing on the Freedom of Speech.

In the United States and in most Western societies, people have a recognized right to freely speak their mind so long as that speech is not a danger to others. You can’t yell “Fire” in a theater because that could harm others. Likewise you cannot make speeches about killing someone specific since that is a terroristic threat. But so long as your speech generally conforms to those two guidelines, you are allowed to speak out and act out to a limited extent. (Let me state here, I am not a lawyer. To get specifics on this please talk to a lawyer if you have questions.)

Speaking about Wicca in books, on TV, in the various media, in public or door-to-door is allowed. You can go out and recruit people for Paganism; it’s protected speech. You can, as long as you are within the laws governing demonstrations and solicitation, go door to door and preach about the Church of Satan or Agnosticism and try your hardest to recruit for those faiths if you wanted to. In fact, Isaac Bonewits actually did preach in public about the Church of Satan for some time when he was younger. http://www.neopagan.net/SatanicAdventure.html

You will note that in his adventure, he was heckled by the Christians, but never arrested. Why? This kind of demonstration is perfectly legal.

So I fail to see where Pagans are evil for publishing books on Wicca and paganism. If Harry Potter is being used as a Pagan recruiting tool, as Mr. Abanes claims, where is the problem? I have to put up with the Mormon Missionaries showing up at my door and trying to recruit me, I have to put up with the God symbolism in Narnia and The Lord of the Rings and in The Matrix. I have to deal with the bigotry of students wearing crucifixes to school while my daughter is persecuted for wearing a pentagram. I have to tolerate the channels full of church services on Sundays (and four full channels on cable TV that are all Christianity all the time) even if I don’t watch them. I have to put up with Christian Ministers standing center stage on TV and saying that the September 11th attacks are my fault because I’m ungodly. I have to watch as a judge tells Wiccan parents that they cannot teach their child about Wicca since they are going through a divorce.

When did this country and this planet become so preferential toward one religion? Did everyone become a bigot all of a sudden?

I even support the rights of the Hindus and Islamics to go out and preach. I would be riveted to my TV if they broadcast a ceremony from a mosque. I had the best time of my life when I went to a Ganesha celebration at a local temple. Stuff like that fascinates me.

I’m sure there would be many who would love to see a channel dedicated to All Wicca All the Time. And I’m sure that there would be an outcry from every Christian out there.

This is the basic quandary; why is it acceptable for one religion to have all the privilege and rights to do something, while at the same time hypocritically denying that same right to everyone else?

One of the big debates is the “right” for those people in the government to display the Ten Commandments in various governmental places, like courthouses or other buildings where the business of the United States is conducted. People have been arrested for doing so.

I have no problem with them doing so really. I oppose it vigorously, not because it’s inherently wrong or that the Commandments are not my religion’s rules, I oppose it because if I tried to get the Wiccan Rede in the lobby of the Library the entire world would come crashing down on my head. And that is unfair.

Religion is in the business of giving hope to people. None of us really know what happens to the consciousness once we stop drawing a breath and our heart stops beating. We don’t know what becomes of the mind and thoughts of ourselves. We can’t know unless we die, and then it’s too late. So that is unknown and it is scary because it is unknown. Religion gives answers that comfort us while we live and gives us hope on what will happen so that is no longer scary.

It’s a terrifying thing to think that everything I have done and am may cease simply because I no longer breathe; that all that I am might be lost to the æthers of nothingness. Religion says that my fear is unfounded and that I will continue after that state, that I will continue to live with something that is greater than myself. At its core, all religions strive to give hope to others. That is all that they do.

How is my comfort a threat to another person? My hope is my hope and to say that what I find comforting is a threat to another is as stupid as saying that I cannot wear the flannel sleep pants because you find them scratchy. It is my comfort and my hope that my religion answers, how is that a threat to your comfort or your hope? Just because I have a different way does not mean that it is true for all.

Ah, but here’s the rub; according to the sacred texts of the Christians, my way IS a threat to them. Their deity has said that he is the only deity and that anyone who does not worship him is doomed. That still does not mean that my way is a threat to them, since my worship of another is not taking their comfort away at all.

But their mandates continue. They must actively see to it that they are the only faith in the world because all others are wrong. If one person is wrong then another must be right, for you cannot have a wrong without a right, correct?

But that is flawed at its basic level. My belief does not detract from their belief at all, unless you live in a world that has no room for many to be right or all opinions to exist. I’m comfortable allowing another to believe that the world is flat. It does not affect my belief that the world is round at all, but if it gives them comfort then so be it.

It’s the difference between verifiable fact, one that everyone can see and experience exactly the same, and opinion where many people all with differing points of view are right. Your ecstatic trance is not going to be the same as mine, no matter how hard we try, so you and I will have different opinions on that. However, both of us can say that the blade of grass is green.

“The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.” — Thomas Jefferson

Where I start objecting is when religious dogma becomes action on the part of those who profess that dogma. Speak all you want, but when you start doing in the name of what you spoke, THEN I have a massive problem.

“The freedom to swing your fist ends where the other guy’s nose begins.” — Harry Truman

That action is in most cases illegal. So I can preach Wicca as much as I want to, and those that object cannot stop me. When I start trying to drag others to a Circle, then I can be arrested.

These Christian proselytizers who use underhanded tricks to get converts, coming into schools to preach and ridicule others, coming to the door of those in a neighborhood, terrorizing children have my undying ire since they are taking talking into action.

But I have the same right, and all the protest papers in the world, all the attempts at censorship cannot change that fact.

There are some other points I want to make. Most often when engaging in these kinds of debates, a “straw man” will be set up by the other side. You must learn to recognize this fallacy and avoid it at all costs.

You and I are talking about the Wiccan Rede. I am against the Rede and you are for it. I state that I do not follow the Rede and I don’t need it since I have many many other ways of being an ethical person without it. You state that the Rede applies to everyone because all other religions have a version of the Rede already. You further state that if my religion doesn’t have a statement like the Rede then I must not be a very ethical person.

What you just set up is a two-target Straw Man fallacy. The first is the “all other religions have a version of the Rede” and the second is that “your religion must not be ethical without it.” What makes them straw men fallacies is that neither of these statements have anything to do with the fact that the debate itself is discussing the Rede itself and whether or not I think it’s a good thing. That is the topic of the debate and straw men like this serve only to pull the discussion off track to force me to defending a statement that has nothing to do with anything. We will lose the original debate in defending either of these straw men.

Apologists for any religion use these all the time and it seems that the Christian Fundamentalists are notorious for this kind of diversion. (An apologist for a religion is one who is trained to defend their religion from perceived attacks and explain away concerns people have about their religion.)

But this kind of diversion is not limited to just Christians at all. I have seen it happen multiple times with debates in Wicca and paganism. I have seen spurious facts put into a debate solely to divert attention from the actual point of the debate. It’s most commonly done when the person who sets up the Straw Man is in a bad position and looks to be losing the debate entirely.

Another fallacy that is pulled out with frightening regularity is the “No true Scotsman” fallacy. This is the desperate attempt to divorce themselves from a member of their group who is seen as less than a shining example by claiming that they aren’t a “true” whatever. The fallacy here is that for every instance where someone pulls this out, I can probably find ten or twenty “true” whatevers that actually DO what they are objecting to. A perfect example is “no true member of the clergy would rape children” when there are multiple priests who have done so. I was told in one debate that no true Wiccan would cause as much harm to me and my family as was done to us, when everyone acknowledged that the people in question were really and truly Wiccans.

There are literally dozens of logical fallacies that will be trotted out in a debate, but I will only mention two more. Ad hominim and Ad Neausium.

Ad hominim is when the person who is stating something is attacked rather than the idea he presented. If I, as a Wiccan, present the idea that I believe the Rede to be antiquated and unnecessary, and someone else who is debating me starts calling me immoral and a bad person, without ever relating it to my position on the Rede, then that is an ad hominim attack. It is used most often by those who have a position that is only supported by belief and very little else in an attempt to bolster their argument.

The ad neausium attack is an insidious one. It makes the statement true simply because it is stated over and over and over again until others get disgusted with it and give up. Saying something four hundred times in the course of a debate does not make it true. Saying that Harry Potter is dangerous does not make it dangerous simply because you say so for pages and pages and pages of text. It simply means that you are trying to cloud the fact that what you say is unsupportable by the evidence.

A full list of debate fallacies is available here: http://www.csun.edu/~dgw61315/fallacies.html and I highly advise you to read them.

One thing that you must remember when debating others on matters of religion and dogma is DO NOT LOSE YOUR TEMPER. The minute you lose your temper and get angry, you have lost the debate. From then on you are arguing from an emotional standpoint rather than from a logical standpoint. All of your arguments will be tainted then simply because the person you are debating will say that you only feel that to be true rather than having facts to back you up. From there, everything can be countered.

The last thing I want to cover is that in any debate or argument about the evils of what is not Christianity the topic will eventually become covered up with a list of other “issues”. But the root of the argument is simply this, it is an attempt to remove all non-Christian influences from the culture.

While I am willing to concede that Christianity has a lot going for it, and the fact that most of what we have wouldn’t be possible without Christian men and women working to make it so, removing everything non-Christian will do as much damage as removing everything Native American would.

Understand that while men and women of faith may have built this nation, even men and women of Christian faith, the United States is not based on those principles, nor should it be. Any nation should reflect it’s highest ideals. There are countries that are based around a theocracy, and that is correct for them. There are others that have a state religion, enforced or not. But the United States is not one of those countries and changing that would destroy the foundation of this country, irrevocably.

I could make a lot of snarky comments at this point, but I will refrain from doing so.

But when you talk to a rabid fundamentalist, reason like that does not enter into the conversation. Most often they simply want to remove everything except their own definition of God, Religion, Marriage, Family, Faith, Kindness, Charity or whatever. That is why it appears to other countries that we are losing our national focus and identity.

I have to say at this point that I am having a lot of trouble with this article. I am working very hard to make it non-confrontational except to those who should be confronted with their hypocrisy. But allies are needed on all sides. The moderates need to start speaking out and using their reason to control their more insane brothers. I am not only speaking of Christianity but also of Islam AND Paganism. Those who have common sense and who actually can see consequences of the current trends need to speak out. You don’t have to get in their faces and actively debate them, but you DO have to go out and use the tools at your disposal to make a difference. Rallies, political action, voting, supporting those clerics and clergy members who work to make a difference, rather than sending the money to those who spread hate and fear. Calling these idiots on their bullshit when they speak it. Supporting those politicians who are working to make a difference.

That’s how the very extreme fundamental elements of Islam took over an entire country. They started small and suggested this change to the law, then that change to the law, then another over there. They worked to get very strict interpretations of the Koran in the homes, the schools, and the government. They got one of their own elected to one of the positions of power. Then the cancer spread. Any one change, taken on its own wasn’t enough to make anyone cry out and protest, but with them all taken together it became a chain of events. Then when it came time for the laws and rules that would really make people protest, there was no way to prevent them from going through for many of the mechanisms for that reform had been removed.

I see it happening now in the United States. I see the President being elected, going on a nuts-o campaign against people that never hurt him or us directly, all the while ignoring the real threats, and then I watched in dropped-jaw shock when he was elected again, along with multiple people who supported him and his plans. Even when this was publicized and more and more lies were exposed, people still supported him enough to elect his cronies. Now it’s too late and all that can be done is to mitigate the damage as much as possible.

This is the kind of slow insidious creeping that destroys nations. Allowing one change and then allowing another and another, none of them protested against because there isn’t anything that can be done, and it doesn’t affect ME, only THEM.

“They came for the communists, and I did not speak up because I wasn’t a communist;
They came for the socialists, and I did not speak up because I was not a socialist;
They came for the union leaders, and I did not speak up because I wasn’t a union leader;
They came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak up for me.”

Martin Niemoller, 1892-1984

I watch this happening and I wonder if these insane policies are really what the United States wants because NO ONE is speaking out against them except those who have a vested interest in seeing that they don’t pass. No one speaks out against gay marriage except the gays or those who have sympathy for them. But slowly and little bit at a time, the rights of everyone are being taken away.

I wanted to address these concerns because there are things that can be done, by everyone. You stand up for what you believe is right. You talk to the fundamentalists and tell them they are wrong. You vote, you support causes that believe in the same things you believe in. You donate money and do charitable work. You go to your minister or clergy leader and you tell them you don’t appreciate them spreading hate and lies when they do so, and you vote with your feet when your beliefs are dismissed and go someplace that DOES support what you believe in. You talk to others about what you feel is right, and you attack stupidity where you see it. You don’t sit by and say “well, that’s how it is” and let it go. If you believe that it’s stupid for a government to tell someone they can’t get married because both people have vaginas, tell someone. Make one of the rabid proponents of it waste their time trying to convince you, and if your mother believes it’s right, find out why and try to convince her to your way of thought.

Because if we give up essential freedoms to obtain a bit of temporary safety, we deserve neither freedom nor safety, to paraphrase Benjamin Franklin. The only way out of this morass is to do and be and to work for what we feel is right.

Standing up to hatred and debating stupidity is the only way to bring about the world we want.

And that’s enough for now.

Originally posted 2009-11-11 21:59:43.

(Note from Daven:  Let me be clear; this is NOT my article.  I have reprinted it here with the original author’s permission.  I think this is one of the best articles of this type that I know of, and it points a lot of facts out to us all.  I advise that everyone read this, read this, read this.  The original article can be found at http://www.anglo-saxon.demon.co.uk/Skvala/burning.html)

 ”Never again the burning times!” This familiar motto recalls a modern myth popular in Wicca and Witchcraft circles that tells how millions of Goddess worshippers practicing “the Old Religion” in were hunted down, tortured and burned during the 15th-18th centuries by a Christian Church desperate to eliminate the last remaining Pagans in Europe. This myth, or various permutations of it, continues to be taught as “well known historical fact” in many Wicca 101 courses and Intro to Witchcraft lectures. It is frequently referred to in books and articles written by Wiccans for Wiccans. These days, the theory that the victims of the Great Witch Hunt were Pagans is given about as much credence by academic historians as the theory that aliens from another planet built the pyramids. But although it’s rejected by those who have actually analyzed the evidence, the Burning Times Myth continues to be unquestioningly accepted by many modern witches, and must therefore serve some psychological or sociological purpose. But could this same purpose be better served by discarding the myth in favor of the truth?

The major source of The Burning Times Myth is Margaret Murray’s 1921 book, The Witch Cult in Western Europe in which she attempted to use evidence from (mainly Scottish) witch trials to reconstruct the rites and rituals of a European witch cult, which, she claimed, was a survival of a ancient Pan-European Pagan religion. Over the past 75 years, academic historians have criticized Margaret Murray’s methodology and conclusions and have proved many of her assertions to be blatantly false. She altered her witch trial data to suit her pre-conceived ideas, ignoring evidence that didn’t fit, and she completely disregarded other sorts of historical data that were directly relevant to her claims.

Some of the faults with Margaret Murray’s historical research are summarized in The Pagan Religions of the Ancient British Isles by Ronald Hutton (p.303)

Dr Murray’s ignorance of ancient Paganism in Western Europe prevented her from realizing that the rituals imputed to early modern witches were not antique rites but parodies of contemporary Christian ceremonies and social mores. Her failure to study Continental sources obviated the need to wonder why the Great Witch Hunt was confined to certain places and certain times, and why the ‘witch cult’ failed to persist in areas in which it was never persecuted. But even her limited information and sphere of interest should have driven her to ask why it was that, out of a genuine popular religion, it was almost always the female devotees who were arrested. Or why the Devil at the covens, whom she insisted was a mortal man in disguise, was never once apprehended.

Hutton goes on to state that (p.306): “During the past two decades a score of detailed local studies of the Great Witch Hunt, spanning Europe, have demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that its victims were not practitioners of an Old Religion.” The lengthy footnote attached to this statement references 20 books and articles on the subject.

So what’s the real story with the “burning times”? The 40,000 or so victims of the Great Witch Hunt, which took place in the midst of religious battles between Catholics and Protestants during the Reformation, weren’t witches, or Goddess-worshippers, or Pagans of any sort. They were Church-going Christians. They tended to be old widowed women who were perceived as a burden on the community, out-spoken younger women who were perceived as a threat to the authorities, sexually promiscuous women, or women whose socio-economic power was a source of envy or fear. The form of “witchcraft” these women were falsely accused of was Satanic, not Pagan. The most popular accusation was that they fornicated with the Devil. Under torture, they often admitted to participating in forms of “the black mass” as fantasized by Christian zealots.

The Great Witch Hunt was not an effort by Christian authorities to stamp out Paganism. For all intents and purposes, that had been accomplished long before. In her book Witchcraze, Anne Llewellyn Barstow theorizes over the real motivation behind the Great Witch Hunt and finds its source in the strongly patriarchal and misogynist social structure of early modern Europe. In the final chapter she writes:

I conclude that ruling-class European men looked at and treated their women basically as they did their African slaves and Indian serfs and as they had treated Jews and heretics before them, namely, with increasing violence. Viewing women as property, husbands became more authoritarian, a role no less oppressive for being disguised as paternalism. Just as slavery produced the myth of the good master, so patriarchy created the myth of the benevolent ruler of the family. Viewing women as dangerous (doesn’t the master come to fear the slave?), judges and priests devised a satanic conspiracy theory to punish women who might step out of line. As the sociologist Richard Horsely observed, accusations of witchcraft were “a highly effective means of social control.”

The Witch Trials resulted in an atmosphere of fear which was a very effective way of “keeping women in their place.” Women living in areas where witch-hunts occurred knew that if they asserted themselves in any way which offended the sensibilities of male authorities, religious or secular, they could be falsely accused of being in league with Lucifer and tortured until they admitted it. If a woman’s friend or relative were accused of witchcraft, and she dared to stand up for them in court, she would run the risk of being accused of being a fellow witch and tortured until she confessed that both she and her loved one were guilty.

“The Burning Times” have nothing to do with the persecution of Pagans by Christians. Rather, they are an extreme example of the persecution of women within a patriarchal society. Feminists, and anyone who believes in justice and equality for all, should be outraged by the Great Witch Hunt, just as they are outraged about all instances throughout history of the institutionalized oppression of one group of people by another. Remembering those women who were tortured and killed for “stepping out of line” during the 300 years of Witch trials can serve as an inspiration to us to continue to fight for equality of women today in societies around the world.

But when Wiccans use the phrase “Never again the Burning Times,” it tends to be in a context where they are discussing some instance (or perceived instance) of oppression of Neo-Pagan witches by mainstream Christian society, and not in a context where women in general are being oppressed. Now that Margaret Murray’s fantasy of a Pagan Witch Cult whose surviving members were hunted down during the Reformation has been proven to be just that –a fantasy, why do so many Wiccans persist in taking a historical example of widespread misogyny in Western society and narrowing the focus so that Pagan witches, rather than ordinary Christian women, become the victims?

Witches today are a disparate lot, with a plethora of different beliefs and practices. Wiccan organizations are subject to so much infighting that the term “bitchcraft” has come into common usage in Pagan circles. The Burning Times Myth helps to unite the Wiccan community by giving witches a common history of persecution, a common enemy, and a common goal. Gardnerians, Alexandrians, Solitaries and other varieties of witch can all see themselves as survivors of the Great Witch Hunt who need to band together against their Fundamentalist Christian oppressors to ensure that Wiccans receive equal rights and equal opportunities in mainstream society so that the Burning Times never happen again. Whenever witches are negatively portrayed by the media, whenever a Wiccan parent is denied custody in a divorce case, whenever Wiccans who wear pentagrams to work are fired under mysterious circumstances, the Burning Times Myth looms large. Wiccans band together to help put a stop to instances of prejudice and discrimination towards witches because they “know” what can happen if they let it go unchecked. The Burning Times Myth functions as a cautionary tale to motivate Wiccans toward working to achieve their goal of equal rights and opportunities for witches.

The goal is laudable and the motivation seems to work. So why not continue to perpetuate the Burning Times Myth? What’s the harm? One problem with the myth is that, while it inspires Wiccans to fight for acceptance by mainstream society, it helps to keep them from achieving it. A major public misconception that Wiccans have to deal with is the idea that witches worship the Christian Devil. And yet, it’s not unusual for a Wiccan being interviewed by the mainstream media to follow up a statement that witches aren’t Satanists with a statement that they were persecuted by Christians during The Great Witch Hunt. One glance at any witch trial transcript will show that the victims of the burning times were accused of, and confessed to, being Satanists. In fact, the popular modern idea that witches worship the Devil most likely has its roots in the misogynist propaganda surrounding the Great Witch Hunt. By continuing to identify themselves as practitioners of the same religion as those who were burned at the stake for engaging in sex with Satan, Wiccans themselves are guilty of blurring the line between Wicca and Satanism.

Another danger is that by repeating the myth that the victims of the Great Witch Hunt were, indeed, witches, and not simply ordinary women, Wiccans may be helping to perpetuate the very propaganda that let it occur in the first place. The horrors committed against women during the Burning Times were only allowed to continue because of the prevailing message that the victims were “witches”–evil devil-worshippers who were justly punished. This is the same sort of propaganda which was used to justify the horrors perpetrated against Jews during WWII. And yet, today, many mainstream women who are insistent that we should never forget the Holocaust, easily dismiss the Great Witch Hunt with rationalizations like: “Those witches must have done something to deserve it” or “That sort of thing could never happen today” or “That couldn’t happen to me, I’m a Christian.” If more modern women understood that the victims of The Great Witch Hunt were not witches in either the Neo-Pagan or the Satanist sense of the term, but simply women whose behavior was perceived as threatening male authority, the lesson of history might serve to motivate them to risk being labeled trouble-makers and to fight for their rights rather than put up with the daily injustices against women that are the legacy of the patriarchy.

As a non-mainstream religion, Wicca has had to deal with popular misconceptions about, and prejudice against its practitioners. As a Goddess-centered religion, Wicca has long been tied up with the feminist movement and concerned with women’s rights. These two aspects of Wicca are intimately linked, since it can be argued that many of the misconceptions and prejudices surrounding the religion ultimately result from a patriarchal society’s fears of women’s power and sexuality –the same fears that gave rise to the Great Witch Hunt. Addressing these societal fears, and advancing the cause of equal rights for women — all women, is necessarily a good thing for Wicca, since a Goddess-centred religion can only flourish in an atmosphere that encourages an appreciation of feminine qualities and a healthy respect for women. If Wiccans who have usurped “Never Again the Burning Times” as their own motto, offer it up to their non-Wiccan sisters as a feminist battle cry, they will only be gaining allies in their fight for acceptance. Thus, the truth about The Burning Times ultimately holds more power for Wicca than the myth.

Published in the Spring 1999 issue of Connections Journal
Published in Cup of Wonder Issue Number Two

Originally posted 2009-11-20 15:09:50.

Please note a few things:

First, this is a ritual specifically for the ODU.  It’s posted here to give an example of the kind of ritual the ODU uses.  The elements of this ritual will be found in every rite that the ODU uses.  It is also designed to identify the person who is performing this as a member of the ODU, specifically in the parting and closing of the veil.  If you object to this, change the wording in those two sections.

Second, the Deities called upon in here are who I felt would be appropriate.  You don’t have to call these Deities if you don’t want to, and you don’t have to sacrifice the same things I did to Them either.  It was what I felt was right and correct for each deity.

So, do this ritual at your own peril.

1. Prep Will need
   1. Realm Candles (Blue, green, White candles)
   2. Hallows representations
   3. God/goddess candles
   4. Sea shell
   5. Thanksgiving offerings
      • Small loaf of home made bread for Dagda
      • Copy of article to burn sacrifice to Tailtu
      • Blood to Lugh (Donated to the Red Cross)
      • Find out what Brigid wants.
2. Meditation of the Cauldron
   • Focus on providing/plenty/success
3. Statement of Purpose: To get a new job
4. Parting of the Veil
   

   “Manannan Mac Lir,
   Son of the Sea,
   Keeper of the veil
   Guardian of the pathways
   Between our world and the Otherworld.
   Hear the words of the Seer,
   We ask you to part the veil
   So that we may commune
   With the beings of the Otherworld Realms.”

5. Invocation of the Three Realms
   Invocation of the Sea (Blue):

   “I light this sacred flame,
   To represent the Realm of Sea.
   I call upon the Realm of Sea,
   The Realm of the Past.
   The Realm of the Ancestors.
   Let those of my ancestors who wish it to come;
   Come! Join with me in my sacred rite.”

   Invocation of the Land (Green):

   “I light this sacred flame,
   To represent the Realm of Land
   I call upon the Realm of Land,
   The Realm of the Present.
   Our realm, which we share with the Spirits of Nature.
   I invite these spirits and all those who walk upon the land to meet with me.
   Let my voice carry throughout the world
   And all of creation may hear my praise
   Come! Join with us in our sacred rite.”

   Invocation of the Sky (White):

   “I light this sacred flame,
   To represent the Realm of Sky
   I call upon the Realm of Sky,
   The Realm of the Future.
   Within the Sky lies my potential
   Where my spirit shall soar among the stars
   The realm of Sky the home Gods and the pathway of the Sun.
   Come! Join with me in my sacred rite.”

6. Invocation of the Lord and Lady
   • God: Dagda
     

     “Oh Great Dagda,
     King of the Gods,
     Father of all
     Bring your Cauldron and Club
     Join me in this Sacred Rite”

   • Goddess: Tailtu
     

     “Tailtu,
     Foster mother of Lugh
     Goddess of the Land and Prosperity
     Join me in this Sacred Rite
     And bless me an my family with your Bounty.”

   • God: Lugh
     

     “Lugh Simaldanich
     Master of All Crafts,
     Come and join me in this Sacred Rite
     Share with me your Wisdom and accomplishment
     And lend me your Spear.”

   • Goddess: Brigid
     

     “Great Goddess Brigid
     Smith, Craftsperson
     Mother and hearthkeeper
     Share with me your skill and your excellence
     Join me in this Sacred Rite.”

7. Working, spell section
   • Invocation of the Hallows
     1. Facing North:
        

        “I stand in Ulster, the land of Conflict
        I hold the Sword, symbol of Power
        I invoke the qualities of power
        And skill
        To overcome my opposition and objections
        In gaining this new job.”

     2. Facing East:
        

        “I stand in the East, in Leinster
        With me is the Cauldron.
        I call upon the twin qualities of plenty (from the Cauldron)
        And Success (from Leinster)
        Both these virtues will allow me to provide
        A living for myself and my family.”

     3. Facing South:
        

        “I stand in Munster, In the South
        I have the Stone here
        And call upon the qualities of new beginnings
        And of Destiny
        To bring a new day to me
        And help me with this new time.”

     4. Facing the Center:
        

        “In Meath, where I now stand
        I hold the Staff.
        The support of the staff
        The connection between all possibilities
        I call upon these to bear me forward
        And help me support myself and my family.”

     5. Facing the West:
        

        “In Connacht, the West, I come to last
        Holding the Spear
        Calling on the virtues of drive and directness
        And the help of the Ancestors
        I use the Spear to send my will
        Into the Otherrealms.”

   • Desire call: (Short Meditation to focus thoughts)
     

     “I call upon the Powers of Ancient Eire
     Great Sons and Daughters of Danu
     Mighty are your deeds
     Sounding down through the Centuries!
     Great is your renown!
     Bright is your Stars and Spirits!
     Your gifts have been great
     To me and the family of my heart.

     Hear my voice!
     I am your son, adopted into your Clan!
     In your image I see to be seen
     And Your knowledge I hope to gain
     Along with your Wisdom!
     Hear my voice calling to you.

     Oh Great Ones! Shining Ones!
     I beg a boon from you, a favor, a gift from your generous nature.
     Guide my hand to support my family
     Build the energies of success around me
     Lay out the path of Sovereignty before me.
     Bring me success in my endeavors
     Bring me skill in my trade!
     Bring me fulfillment of my dream!

     I am not afraid of hard work.
     I am not afraid of excellence, so long as it is rewarded.
     I need to provide for my family and Clan
     But now it is not possible.
     I need to support my family in more than we are now.
     Just surviving is not satisfying anymore.
     Things for the health of my family need to be done now.
     I am not able to do this as things stand now.

     As the man is the king of his castle
     So to is the king obligated to care for his subjects.
     My family is counting on me to provide
     But I can’t as things are now.

     (Tell the Gods what you hope for in detail, no more chanting.)

8. Divination: Water in the Cauldron scrying
9. Thanksgiving
10. Thanking and dismissing the Gods
11. Thanking and dismissing the Realms
    • Dismiss the Sky
      

      “I call into the vastness of the Sky
      This flame has burned in honor of the Realm of Sky
      The Realm of the Future.
      I have witnessed my potential
      My spirit has flown among the stars
      Great Realm of Sky
      The home Gods and the pathway of the Sun.
      I thank you for joining with me this day”

    • Dismiss the Realm of the Land
      

      “I call to the corners of the world,
      The Realm of the Present.
      My realm, which we share with the Spirits of Nature.
      I thank those who have joined me this day.
      Let my voice carry throughout the world
      That all of creation may hear my praise
      Praise which issues from me every second of my life.”

    • Dismiss the Realm of the Sea:
      

      “I call to the Realm of Sea,
      The Realm of the Past.
      The Realm of the Ancestors.
      This flame was kindled in your honor.
      I have been in this sacred place,
      I have honored the ancestors of this place
      And I honored the ancestors of my own lineages
      Leave with me the knowledge and wisdom of the past
      Guide me through my daily life.”

12. Closing the Veil
    

    “Manannan Mac Lir,
    Son of the Sea.
    Keeper of the veil.
    Guardian of the pathways
    Between our world and the Otherworld
    We have communed with the Ancestors,
    We have communed with the Spirits of Nature,
    We have honored the Gods and Goddesses.
    We ask that the veil be closed at this time.”

13. Sharing of bounty with the Land
    1. Burn the pages
    2. Break up the bread and eat some, distribute the rest to the Land
14. Meditation and grounding
15. Clean up

Originally posted 2009-11-14 14:26:39.

I went looking for this today because I didn’t remember it all, but it is so perfect that I wanted to share here again, just so that you can all remember along with me and enjoy it again.

So, I’m standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward…She takes my arm and with trembling voices she asks….”Have you found Jesus?” Her eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.

Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But, unfortunately for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last 9 minutes. So by now I’m beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong with these people. I mean if its not Christians it is the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Can a simple Druid get no peace?

So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic I reply, “You people lost him, again??”

The woman looks confused. This is not the response she was hoping for and she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intending to launch into her sales pitch for her God, and church, paying no heed to the concept that I might not be into being converted. I decide to not let her get going so I launch into a speech of my own…

“What is wrong with you Christians? Every time I turn around you’ve lost Him!” I hit her with a glare of accusation. “I mean really…” I take a measured breath. “How do you expect to have anyone follow a deity that you can’t even find!”

The poor woman looks stunned. This isn’t going so good. Panicked she looks desperately to the car… Surely one of the men can help…. Undaunted I press on… “Maybe the problem is with you people… I mean Muslims never seem to loose there deity. Come to think of it neither do Jews, or Pagans of any kind.”

I look at the man getting out of the car. He’s all smiles. “I realize you people used to burn people like me at the stake… What was that about… deity even? I may be a Pagan-heathen, but I have never ever woke up panicked that I couldn’t find my Goddess or God. They are always right where they should be… In the fire of my candle, in the air that I breath, in the earth that I stand on, in the water of my spring. I never feel abandoned by my deity(ies).”

“Of course, you Christians aren’t much fun…” I continue. By now they are all out of the car.

Befuddled, aghast, and at a loss for words.

“Of course,” I offer trying to give them some defense for losing Jesus. “He could have left due to religious differences. If I remember correctly He was Jewish. So if you are really so eager to find him…” I smile gently to soften the blow. “Check the nearest synagogue. He’s probably in there. Also you folks should try and remember that this is America… Where freedom of religion means ALL religions.”

Slowly they climb back into their car and drive away. I stand at the bus stop… No pamphlets, no bible, no dogma. I haven’t found Jesus, but I haven’t lost him either.

Oh, and if you’ve found Jesus, please get his face on the evening news A.S.A.P so the Christians can stop looking for him.

This is a rebuttal article to Mike Nichols: A WITCH BY ANY OTHER NAME, and it is intended to spark discussion.

Well, there have been many who have said at various times that Wicca equals Witchcraft. While I’m not going to argue semantics, and while I can and do acknowledge that Wicca in the original Anglo-Saxon roots means “witch”, I don’t agree that Witchcraft is the semantic equivalent of Wicca anymore.

Here we have a religion that has built itself up around the word Wicca, sold books, developed a complex spiritual substance, Deity figures (some that don’t even appear in ancient mythologies), has developed dogma and cant in which certain things are of the Wicca and others are not and even developed a moralistic code which adherents must ascribe to (or at least give lip service to if they don’t buy the whole thing).

Those characteristics are qualities of a religion, one that has the possibility of developing and continuing for some time. Just about every major religion out there started like this and worked their way into some of the monoliths we know today.

There are many who are trying to claim that Witchcraft is a religion. That Witchcraft itself has a dogma and a cant, that it has deity figures and so on. I’m sorry I simply don’t see it.

Certainly the religion of Wicca has those things, but the craft of the witches, the skill-set in magick, herbalism, healing, midwifery, hexes and curses and so on, is not dependant on the religious structure one places it in.

For instance, while it was a good bonus in the original days of Wicca to have knowledge of the folk magick of the area, there were many who didn’t have much knowledge of herbs or “The Cunning Craft” (my term for cunningmen and cunningwomen) and Gardner was actively recruiting those kinds of people to be in his new covens ⁽¹⁾. This means that it is possible to have knowledge and practice a magickal system without the baggage of a religion attached to it.

Just a few people who were religious but who had knowledge of magick that was independent of that religion:

Alister Crowley
Elphas Levi
King Solomon
Any Rosicrucian or Mason

And this is just a short sample. While each of these people may have been people of faith who attended church (of whatever expression they chose), they didn’t necessarily have to have the religion to practice their magick. Crowley in particular had very few references to god or extra planar beings in his writings, and while Solomon’s Keys have a number of references to those beings, no where in the texts of the Greater Key of Solomon or the Lesser Key of Solomon or other books that go in the set does it state that you have to believe in those creatures or deity forms. In fact, if you believe Phil Hine (a Chaos Magician), he did the rites directly out of the Key of Solomon without ever coming close to believing the whole thing ⁽²⁾.

That proves that it’s possible to have a religion and a magickal craft that are separate instead of linking to each other all the time, as other magickal paths like Judaism and the Kaballah do.

Would it be possible for a Wiccan to practice the craft of witchcraft without the religion of Wicca? Would it be possible to do so the other way, to practice Wicca without the skill-set of Witchcraft?

I believe they are both possible.

I have known amazing magickians who had no religion and would be offended if you asked them to summon a deity to their magickal rite, just as I have know amazing spiritual people that would never think of practicing magick.

It comes down to the dichotomy of spirituality vs. magick. They are not the same and have never been the same. They do not equate to each other although there are those who combine them into a very interesting practice (like Vodoun and Santeria), which I really respect. But they are not necessarily dependant on each other.

What does this have to do with Wicca? There have been some who have suggested that ALL Wiccans are witches and vice versa. Well, this witch is a Wiccan as well, but that’s not true of all out there. The recent trend toward just spirituality is one indicator of Wicca not equaling witchcraft. More and more there are those who practice Wicca, with all the forms and rituals attendant of that practice, without the magickal element.

I blame this on the books coming out. Most of the Wicca 101 books out there on the market now teach the spirituality and moral structure of Wicca without going too far into the magickal aspects or the psychic aspects. Thus those who read those books believe that Wicca is a religion without magick and they feel that magick is out of place.

This creates several problems, unfortunately.

First, Wicca is about magick. One cannot experience the Mysteries without experiencing magick first. The root principles in magick unlock the doors that the Mysteries are behind. Without the experience of what it is like to have an ecstatic trance, you can’t tell when you are having an epiphany, and if you do experience it, more than likely it will scare the socks off you. In fact, I have heard a story about a “priestess” who stopped doing rituals with one other priestess conducting the ritual. When cornered as to why she suddenly stopped, she said that during the last ritual that she attended she had “felt something” and it scared her. It was my understanding that “feeling something” was the point of the ritual.

Second, Healing is magick. Most of the basic books talk about healing as an ability like singing or sculpting. It is such an ability where you have to have an inborn aptitude to use it, but that is only half the story. Without the knowledge that magick brings to the table, healing will be out of reach of most of the new generation of Wiccans because the discipline and energy control as well as the ability to visualize all contribute to hone the skill of healing.

Third, most of the texts about magick are dull and dry. They are speaking to the experienced magickians more often than not, without caring that there is a generation of Wiccans who will miss out on half their practice. So supplementing their reading of the 101 books with magickal texts will only serve to confuse.

Now that I have argued for why Wicca IS about witchcraft, I want to argue the other side for a bit.

Ordinarily, a priestess teaches Magick to a student outside of common classes. In most traditions that I have been told about, there is an “Outer Court” which discusses the religion of Wicca, the history, the way to practice and so on. Once a student graduates from that, they are brought to the coven as a group and they go through a “dedicant’s ceremony” allowing them more access to the group and group members as well as enlarging upon their basic knowledge. As far as I know, from there, they are assigned a mentor who talks about the deeper aspects of Wicca, like the spells and how to do them. The mentor supervises any rituals the dedicant undertakes and gives suggestions and help.

The books are like the “Outer court” information. With this scenario there is no mentor to guide, teach and supervise. Which means that when the person who has read the books passes along their knowledge of only what they have read, meaning that they are passing along the “outer court” material as all that Wicca is.

But the point here is that the teachings about magick ARE taught separately and the Outer Court material and you can have a whole tradition based around only the outer court material. Granted, it’s a stunted tradition, one without the richness that the magick brings into it, but it is still possible. And it is possible to grow into the magickal aspects with time and patience.

Then there is the nature of the magick itself. There is herbalism, hexmastery, divination and tarot, ESP and other psychic powers, elemental energy channeling, weather witching, talking to plants and animals, and all the other parts of magick that are out there. Each of these is a skill that is learned and practiced and honed through use, which are independent of a religion. You have Wiccan herbwitches, Christian herbwitches, Voodoo herbwitches, agnostic herbwitches, atheist herbwitches, all of who have the same knowledge and skills, each of them calling upon different deities (or not calling on deities at all) to do what they do. And each is equally effective in their practice as any other. So this is a skill that is independent of the religion professed.

And any of the above named skills are like that. You don’t have to believe in the Golden Rule to read a tarot card, or pray to Buddha or Shiva to have a dream of what will come tomorrow, nor do you have to call upon Diana to pick an herb that will cure a cough. You may certainly do so if it is what you want to do, but you do not HAVE to. Which makes these skills independent of the religion of Wicca.

Therefore, this trend to reclaim the word “witch” for the Wiccans, and some Wiccans claiming that unless you are Wiccan you cannot call yourself a witch is patently false. It is likely that Wiccans can be witches, and many witches are Wiccan. If a group chooses to call themselves witches and they happen to be Wiccan it does not follow that only Wiccans can call themselves witches. It does not even mean that all Wiccans must call themselves witches or that all Wiccans are witches.

To follow this reasoning, one must also believe that all Christians are carpenters, since some Christians are carpenters, and the head of their religion (Jesus) was himself a carpenter. The ridiculousness of this statement should be obvious as there are many carpenters who are not Christian, and many, many Christians are not carpenters but other professions.

Witchcraft is a skill set, learned and refined and honed as a profession; the religion should never enter into it.

(1) According to Isaac Bonewits in his book “Wicca; A Concise History”  <back>

(2) Taken from the context of “Some Observations from The Goetia Project” where he never states he believed in Judaism, but in which he recited the rituals verbatim to the Lesser Key of Solomon. The text of this essay is available at http://www.beyondweird.com/occult/aoev1.html on page 25. <back>

Many people have asked me to teach them spells. My response is always the same. No. Mainly because they are young kids who want to be able to wiggle their nose and have the world change. Mostly they don’t realize just what a double-edged sword they are asking for. Many, if not all, have not learned self-discipline. It is the single most important thing that any magician or warrior or Martial Artist can gift themselves with.

So this is the journey that a prospective magician will tread when starting to learn spells. There are many things and skills they have to have before speaking their first incantation or chant. It is analogous to giving someone a loaded pistol, without them first learning basic safety, how to aim, maintenance of the weapon, or even what to do. Because this is what magick is; a loaded weapon. The skills that I lay out here are just as important as learning which end of the pistol to hold when attempting to fire it.

Stages:

Self-discovery. Finding out why you tick the way you do. The most important part. Through meditation and constant questioning of “why” you will get a sense of yourself and your motivations for most everything. But be honest. If you know why, don’t say “I don’t know”. Lying to yourself is a sure way to get you into trouble. The more you are honest with yourself at this stage, the more you will be able to learn and figure out the why later.

Unless you do this, you will never develop the Will to use Magick effectively. Will is the key to magick. Knowing yourself is the key to Will. Control of the mind becomes easy when these techniques are applied. The mind is not used to discipline. So teaching it is a long process. It may take years. But once applied, the discipline will become second nature. You will gain confidence, self control, and be able to apply lessons in a useful manner for the rest of your life. Especially in magick.

In “Empire Strikes Back” Yoda says to Luke at one point that he must learn control. This is what you will be, in essence, doing. You will learn to control your mind so that you will not be distracted from what you are trying to learn, and practice.

The actual stages that you will go through follow:

1. Fear of probing the hidden areas of your soul. Bringing the Dark up to the Light and making it visible to you again. Learning all about that area. Many people bury the dark stinking parts of their soul and never think about it again. This is wrong. In order to be a whole person, you must come to a working partnership with that dark area. Dark thrives on lack of light. It grows stronger. That is why so many people in our society have problems with trauma and self-destruction. They bury the negative and forget it. But that part has not forgotten you. If you learn to use it , it can be a powerful tool. You have to recognize the times and places when it is appropriate to use that part of you.
2. Trauma again from re-living some of the memories and re-experiencing the actions that caused the problems in the first place. Dangerous stage. Many loose it here and go never to return, either into insanity or away from this path altogether. Not so much from the study of their dark areas, but from remembering past traumas, such as abuse, molestation, and many other things. THIS IS A NECESSARY STEP. It cannot be avoided. During this time it is advisable to have someone nearby to help you through the trauma associated with these memories. You will also find areas that are dedicated to the destruction of you. It is your job at this point to convince them that they need to turn their attention toward outside sources. They won’t care that they will destroy themselves by destroying you, that is their job, total destruction.
3. Acceptance of that dark side. Most never get here. “Better buried than stinking again.” The only way to heal some wounds is to cut them open again and let them heal properly. Learning to live with the scars and while not glory in them, but to at least acknowledge that they have taught you something.In “Star Trek V, The Undiscovered Country”, Captain Kirk has a line that goes, “I need my pain. The Pain has made me who I am. I won’t let you take that away.” This is one of the truest statements ever made. We are the sum of all our experiences. All of us have been affected by what we have experienced, and nothing can change that. Even people who bury memories of living through something are still affected by that memory, whether or not they remember it.

   So coming to terms with that dark side is important. It cannot be ignored. Dealing with the trauma that happened caused by things that happened is something else entirely. Many people need to deal with memories and trauma in various ways, but you need to learn to recognize when a bad experience is affecting your judgment or actions so that you can break out of that cycle.

4. Doubt of yourself and your environment. Some even doubt of the Gods. This is NORMAL. Self-doubt is a good tool to keep from becoming another Napoleon or Hitler. It teaches us. And while self-confidence is a good thing, too much leads to hubris. The belief that “I am not really doing this… It’s all in my imagination.”Many people get to this stage and give up. Part of coming to terms with yourself is to look at your confidence problems. Also many of us attracted to this kind of work have very vivid imaginations. So it is only natural that many of us will think that we are crazy and none of it is happening. But remember something, “As you believe, so will it be”. If you think and believe that you are imagining it all, then you will be. The good thing is that as you progress through these stages, you will come to know just what is you and what is something else. The parts that are you and what is another need to be very clear. You can make it so. And then taking action is simple.
5. Trust that you are doing something. That your abilities are making a difference. That the Gods do care. In your teacher. Etc. Again, normal and positive in this arena. Without this trust, no further advancement can be possible. This stage is what I call the “Shot in the arm” stage. It is confidence, but many times it is still tinged with doubt. As time passes though, it moves into the next stage.
6. Megalomania and hubris are next. Dangerous again. The problem here is “I have some training, I can do anything I want and no one can stop me.” Kind of like a beginning student in Martial Arts who is getting a Head. Usually the Master will have to knock them down a few notches to get them understanding that there are bigger and bader things out there.I went through this stage and it taught me a lot of what I am. I looked at myself and thought that there was no one out there that was a good as I was. I had Will, the tools, the knowledge and many other things that I thought I needed to win in any conflict I needed. No one could match me in my chosen arena. Then I watched as someone I was going to get rid of critically injured most of my allies. I came close to having to kill my wife in order to banish a creature I had conjured. Scared the living daylights out of me. I never made that mistake again.
7. Doubt again after getting sense knocked into them that they really couldn’t do this. Phantasms created by the mind to release tension. Not being able to see the effects of their Work and doubting that it happened at all.Now is the stage where your confidence is shot by the previous stage and you need to get it built back up again. Like in the movie “Top Gun”. After his RIO dies and now Maverick needs to go on with his life. He’s not so cocky again. While everyone is compelled to try to figure out what happened so that applied learning can be used, but not to the detriment of your piece of mind and your confidence.

   This is usually the shortest stage. Many people when they go through this, come out the other side a better person in general. Then they move along to the last stage.

8. Peace, not only with the Dark, but also with the Light. Inner Peace and a stillness of soul that many would call “steady”. Acceptance and wisdom in this area. Pretty self-explanatory.

Learning: Actual study of materials from various sources.
Book knowledge is always an excellent source.

• A book doesn’t have a job it has to be to tomorrow.
• A book can cover more material than a person can
• Other books fill in gaps in knowledge
• A book can spend more time with you than a person usually can
• Self-paced teaching

Drawbacks:

• Only one way to do things. If it doesn’t work for you too bad.
• In depth, but holes in information
• Can’t directly answer your questions
• Not really as good as someone who is right there with you.
• It gives you no real-world knowledge or experience. Just someone else’s interpretation.

Tutoring by someone who has “Been there, done that, got the T-shirt”

• custom lessons
• paced differently
• answer questions when asked
• alternative techniques
• help through traumatic events and counseling

Drawbacks:

• Doesn’t know everything
• Hasn’t necessarily had the same problem
• Personality conflicts
• Can only speak from his own experience or those he has witnessed first hand

Instruction in a group setting

• freer exchange of ideas
• fluid environment
• everyone at same stage
• competition
• group feeling intensified

Drawbacks

• personality conflicts ad-neausium
• Cult recruitment (personality, religious)
• Non-customized lessons
• “Lowest common denominator” problem
• not much flexibility unless the class is extremely good
• Lectures followed by Q&A. Might forget Q.
• have to take notes (handwriting)
• Etc… See High School or College

Discovery is best, but many, many drawbacks

• self custom knowledge
• Learn the best way for you.
• LOTS of practice
• Discover things others said couldn’t be done

Drawbacks

• Miss many, many baby steps
• Can’t find out “what happens if” unless you do it.
• NO ONE else’s experience to draw on
• Can’t get out of a bad spot with another’s help, can only do it on your own
• Easy to make a “fundamental” mistake and keep repeating it for years since there is no one to correct it.

Practice: The first steps in casting and using magick. Usually simple things for knowledge. Divinations, invocations of the deities, spells to help you remember what happened in a former life, and such. Many of these spells are what any initiate learns on whatever magickal path they start on, be it Cabala, Wicca, Satanism, or whatever. That is due simply to the fact that most of these spells are hard to mess up too much. They are pretty much “shoot yourself in the foot” proof. By the time you get to actually learning spells, you will have the knowledge to be able to write your own spells, and know why you do this and such.

• Integrating dark with light. Acknowledging the darker traits and realizing that there is a time and a place to use that aggression and hate, but not letting it dominate you. In this area of “Empire Strikes Back” Yoda was wrong. Just because you use the negative aggressive tendencies does not mean that you will become irrevocably evil. Using is not the same as being. The aggressive tendencies will always be easier, but you don’t have to be dominated by them.Have you ever met a cop, and known that this man would keep his calm under the most stressful circumstances? He is someone who has learned to integrate that dark side with himself. He is “Centered” or “Balanced”. One of my greatest friends has that same aura of calm. He is the gentlest of people, but don’t cross him. And he will remain calm the entire time and not shed a tear about having to hurt you, if that is what it takes.
• Protective magicks are some of the easiest things to do, and very hard to mess up. Learning these is very good practice for what will come later. Shields, wards, and the “Tai-Chi of Magick” all fall in this category. Many Earth-based religions teach these, but there are many holes in the teachings, so keep looking. The “Tai-chi” reference I made is using your opponent’s energy against themself. It is working with natural flows, and cycles of nature.Once again, it is not too hard to muff a spell of this type. The worst that can happen is that the protection does not take, and you won’t know that until you are under fire.
• Offensive magicks are the next. Intentionally hurting someone is a last resort, but sometimes it is the only one left. No shame in it. Especially if that person is intent on hurting or killing you or someone you love. Greater risk here though, since it can be turned against you. Hexes and curses along with esoteric things like levinbolts.These you need caution for. Too many of these can come back on you if you don’t do everything just right. Practicing and going slowly through the steps can give you the mastery of these kinds of spells.

  Let me say now for the record, I am Wiccan, but I am also a Guardian. I do not advocate violence but I will use it if there is no other way to accomplish my goal. I will not use it to kill, unless there is no other choice. I am always cognizant of the Law of Three, and as such I make damned sure that I am in the right before proceeding to this stage. The Rede is not a death pact. It is a moral code, but sometimes you have to circumvent that code to accomplish a greater goal. Just be willing to pay the consequences if you prove to be wrong.

• Healing is a dangerous skill. In order to heal someone, you must first know how to harm them too. THIS IS NOT FOR BEGINNERS. You are mucking around with someone else’s body, mind, or soul. You can do PERMANENT harm to them unless you know exactly what you are doing and why.I say “mind” and “soul” because these are as valid a healing as any done for the body. Psychologists and Priests do this kind of healing all the time. Why can’t magick be used to do these same things? I myself am a Spiritual healer. I have some knowledge of physical healing, simply because of my studies, but helping someone’s soul to be healed of the darker areas that they are in possession of is so much better. One leaves you with a healed scar, one makes you a better person altogether. The techniques are very different though. Mostly they involve listening.

  I have messed up in this though. It was a question of not listening when I should have. Blind luck is all that saved my patient and I from something terrible. She was almost changed from what she was permanently. And that is the basis of my cautionary warnings. It can be very dangerous for any number of reasons. True, you won’t be hurt, but there is still the insidious little thought that you could have done more, cared a little differently, or tried something else. Ask a doctor who lost a patient sometime how they deal with it.

• Finding allies is also in the category of very dangerous to you. Many prospective enemies are in guise of allies. How better to defeat a budding magician than to know what they are planning? YOU MUST KNOW WHAT EVIL LOOKS LIKE TO BE SAFE. And by that I mean what the soul looks like. This is one reason you must know yourself so well.This mainly involves looking around you for potential friends or companions. DO NOT OFFER YOUR SERVICES TO ANYONE. This seems a bit harsh, but there is an old saying that goes “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. I have found this statement to be true in more ways than one. Applied to this, it is even truer. When you are ready to have someone in your life to help you, someone who wants to help, and who is willing to believe will come along. You simply have to be prepared to accept them and protect them, and analyze what they can offer you in the context of what you need. It may be that they cannot give you very much, but you can still be friends.

  A cautionary note here. Try not to get too involved in established covens or working groups. You will be the outsider and an invader to their established pecking order. Normally this will not be a problem, but you never know. Politics is the worst problem we as a community have. And that goes for Wiccan, American, Office and every other kind of group that one can belong to.

• Working with other beings is the same danger level as finding allies. Many extra-planar beings are malevolent and waiting for a chance to reduce the forces of good. This is where your Will comes into play. On other planes, the one with the stronger Will is in control and will win. You can be attacked from any direction, even internally with your fears, and you must know those fears so well that they have no control over you.You must understand the inherent danger. Many things that are ironclad here on the physical plane are fluid on the Astral plane. Up is not necessarily up anymore. Hitting someone is more likely to hurt you than him. Many, many problems. I highly advise putting off this kind of spell until you get greater experience with traveling there. By that time you will be known to those who dwell there and not be a threat anymore.

Honing skills: Once all these basics are mastered, then you are ready to take on the TRULY dangerous and important things that you were born to do. Don’t worry, if you make it to this level, you will have more than enough experience and knowledge to make your hardest problem that of not having enough hours in each day to do everything.

I say this tongue in cheek, but I a quite serious. You will know yourself and your environment, and more importantly, you will know your limitations. Most of the magickal courses of study I have seen are designed to get you to this level. Power has to be paid for. You will pay this price again and again in blood and sweat, along with using all your resources in any endeavor. You will know how to partition your Power out to the most advantageous use. You will know how to husband your resources and how to use the environment and any tool that comes to your hands.

The following paths are all ones that I have personally traveled at one time or another. One thing, you do not have to loose your connection with Humanity. Some think that by being a Magician, that you loose your “humanness” or your connection to people. This is not so. If you do loose that connection, then you are in danger of becoming a danger to magicians in general. So, keep those ties with your family and friends. Understand that they do not see the same things as you do, and do not look down upon them for their lack. It is your job to take care of them.

1. Defending defenseless. Basically you will be a trouble magnet. You will go looking for fights, but like the wise warrior you will be, you will pick your own time and place to strike a blow for justice. (Sounds like Superman. Not far off. You will be doing just about everything he did. And all without the thanks he got.) In my experience this is taking care of problems on the Astral Plane. Not really looking for trouble, but taking care of troublemakers. To a point, taking care of irresponsible people here and now who are messing with Magick that they don’t know how to use, but still mainly on other planes.
2. Healing Earth: Hugging trees is all well and good, but getting corporations to stop taking what they think they need is much better. Honoring means stopping the madness before Gaia is dead, then fixing it. This is a long and possibly fruitless process, but it is one that needs to be done. If not, one day we will wake up with no air, a sun that gives third-degree burns with two seconds exposure and most life dead. Basically environmental activism. Not the spiking trees, or chaining yourself to sewer lines, but volunteering with the Sierra Club, petitioning the community on a topic of concern.
3. Things you don’t know why you’re doing is maybe one of the most frustrating parts of this life. You will wake up in the middle of the night and know you HAVE to do a ritual RIGHT NOW. But you will never get it explained to you why you had to. Get used to it. Part of the job.
4. Moving to the will of the Gods. Also frustrating, but at least you can see the results of your labor. In the process of self-knowledge you will acquire a sense of who is speaking to your thoughts and what is going on. You will labor and sweat, but you will have a concrete result. You still may not know WHY you had to do that, but “you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.” Like writing this article has been for me.

Just as a safety valve, try to find someone who is experienced in this work and stay with them. You will need their support when things get to be too much for you. Mental, emotional, and spiritual fatigues are very real in this kind of work. You will need a good support structure in order to cope. Preferably someone who has done this for a while and who can talk you down from the stress this will place in your life. It is only sensible to have this kind of support, if only to swap stories with and to vent to. And one day… you will have to do this duty for another. Probably the one you are going to, for who heals the healer? Why… another healer of course.

Stars light your path.

Originally posted 2009-11-11 18:20:55.

I used to live in Atlanta. They don’t get a lot of snow there. So when this came out in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, I laughed until I couldn’t breathe.

So, in honor of the snow that is getting dumped on my current residence and in most other places in America, I share this article with you.

SPEW WARNING

I take no responsibility for any damage you do to your computer or anything else while you read this.

Face it: Even the hint of snow makes us all go a little nutzo
Date: February 6, 2005
Publication: Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The (GA)
Page Number: ZH2
Word Count: 704

So they’re predicting some winter weather for our fair area this weekend. If you aren’t from Atlanta let me tell you that we are a very winter-dysfunctional people.

I’m not proud of us in the winter. The anticipation of snow is overwhelming. We really rarely actually get snow but we look forward to the possibility of a chance of snow every year. We have no release for our overwhelming need and want to have snow so that even when we get a small flurry, we go absolutely nutzo.

Once a winter storm begins in Central Asia, Atlanta meteorologists begin tracking it in the anticipation that it will hold its strength and deliver snow to Atlanta, which is some 60 million miles away.

We know the anticipated possibility of a chance of a possible opportunity for a snow event is not critical until that night when the meteorologist gets on camera with his sleeves rolled up.

This is a non-verbal signal to the people of Atlanta that the anticipated snow ‘event’ is now close, say only 30 million miles away. Conversation at dinner stops, work stops, and the city is silent for seven minutes while the weatherman, his sleeves rolled up, begins to point to things on the map.

Interpreting the Three Maps

There are three maps the meteorologist will point to. The first is the giant satellite photo of the galaxy. He points to the small white speck in the far corner. That represents the storm, now over northern Canada. That’s a teaser. It doesn’t mean anything. This is time you need to take to go to the bathroom and do whatever because you still have two maps left.

The second map is the computer map they can digitally flatten out and move around so it looks like you’re flying over it. It shows the outline of the states. You can see the clouds, the mountains, and Rock City. The map moves in a northerly direction, 15 million miles or so to Canada where the storm is dumping tons of snow on the Canadians who wish they were at least as far south as Atlanta right now.

Between the second and third map, the meteorologist undergoes a transformation from impeccable TV guy with perfect TV hair to impeccable TV guy with his sleeves rolled up and now, for the first time, perspiration on his brow. (I think the makeup guy dabs it with a paper towel but I have not been able to confirm it.)

At the TV station they have rooms named for bad weather. This is where they go to report from when the weather gets really bad. For instance, the Severe Weather Center is where they go when they reach a critical point. I think its underground, some 1,000 feet below the Big Chicken in Marietta.

It’s odd that they only have bad-weather centers. I’ve never heard of them reporting to us from the Nice Day Center.

The Third and Final Map: When the weather program returns from commercial break, the meteorologist is staring right into the camera at us. He says “Here we go.” He’s sweating profusely.

He takes us to the third map, which oddly enough is the most low-tech of the three.

This map is a large green map of North America but, unlike the other maps, it has the red and blue string of flags. You’ve seen them. They look like the grand opening flags at a new car dealer, strung from the streetlights to the ground.

The string of red flags represents the hot weather moving southeast. Don’t worry about that one. The blue one is what we want to see. It comes right behind the red one and this is the point where you have to find out where you are in relation to the blue string of flags.

The map of Georgia highlights the individual counties so you can see where you stand in relation to the blue grand opening flag.

The Snow Event

The day of the event is a great media day. It begins with the early, early news, airing about 15 minutes after the late-night news. Protocol dictates that the early, early, news should start with interviews with D.O.T. workers.

The D.O.T. workers come in and move the sand around their parking lot a couple of times with the bulldozers so the reporters can film it as they tell us, who are asleep, of the preparation plan.

Next, the D.O.T. spokesperson reads from the prepared statement telling us, while we’re still asleep, that they are prepared. During this time thousands of news crews across the state begin to travel north to find a snow flake. They will compete to file the first story from their embedded positions in Pickens County.

By 5 a.m. reporters are running around alongside a road somewhere north of Atlanta yelling into their microphones describing to us how it feels to be out there where the snow may soon fall.

The first video of someone hitting a light pole at 12 miles per hour on a sheet of ice is soon aired.

The meteorologist returns to the screen and, in plain English, says to us several times, “Please don’t drive in this weather unless you absolutely have to.” We interpret this as: “Please get in your car and go to the grocery store and buy all the bread and milk you can!”

Cars now begin to fill the ice-covered streets driving first forwards, then backwards, then sideways. Cars slide down hills into other cars. Cars merging onto I-85 south from Ga. 400 hit an ice patch and continue across the lanes and into the wall.

The ditches are soon filled with cars and the tow trucks have a field day.

Two days later it’s 65 degrees again and the bars are full of insurance adjusters swapping horror stories of dents and smashed fenders.

I’m sitting at home yelling at the kids because they aren’t drinking enough milk.

I can’t wait for spring.